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In my first couple of years writing for The Roar, my annual Christmas sports wish list was, well, an annual fixture.
A combination of the editors not asking for it and me forgetting about it – but let’s mostly assume the former – has meant it’s not been seen now for several years.
But it’s back! It’s been gone long enough that it sounded like a new idea to the Eds, and so here we go!
First up is rugby, and I’d love for everything just to fall into place for Wallabies and Waratahs coach Michael Cheika in 2015.
Whether that’s by unprecedented cooperation from his four Super Rugby counterparts, unified by a common goal of putting the best Wallabies side possible on the park, or by the ‘Tahs program practically running itself, thus allowing Cheika more time with his Wallabies cap on, I don’t really care.
I’d like the Wallabies forwards – but particularly the locks and backrowers – to have collective ‘light bulb moments’ as they take a quick look back at the Spring Tour tape. I’d like Sekope Kepu or James Slipper (both, ideally) to receive a text message out of the blue, saying:
“Hey man, you know how you kept going down at the Aviva and at Twickers – would it help if, on ‘Set’, I pushed with my shoulder and legs, instead of just my arms?”
Similarly, I’d like those tasked with kicking in general play to notice how often their European opponents kicked to vacant grass, and how often the Wallabies kicks were taken on the full.
I’d like the Wallabies coaches to recognise how Australia used to be one of the best teams in the world over the ball, and how now we’re just not. And I don’t really care how they decide to address the issue – new personnel or a new approach – I’d just like it restored.
I’d like a smooth path through the Rugby World Cup ‘pool of death’, and then a bit of luck after that.
I’d like four Australian sides in the Super Rugby top nine, at least two teams in the playoffs again, and I don’t care which four and which two. I’d like another home final and no Australian team in the bottom four.
I’d like the ‘other’ four Australian coaches to adapt different elements of the Cheika blueprint, so that once the Wallabies all come back into camp, there’s not so much catch-up or new learning to be done. So the Rebels can take the power-carries, the Brumbies can take physical in defence, the Reds can have solid attacking lineout, and the Force can take ball-in-hand. Or something like that. All for the greater good.
I’d like the second season of the NRC to be even more enjoyable than the first. And more widely known about…
I’d like the Canberra Stadium media box pies to be an edible temperature. Not molten lava hot and not hot four hours ago. And I’d like some thicker socks, so that I don’t lose feeling in my toes while on sideline duty in late June. Either that or some localised extreme climate change around the same time. Or a roof.
Cricket, and first and foremost, I’d like no talk of hamstring issues for Michael Clarke in 2015, which will of course be achievable via no actual hamstring issues for Michael Clarke in 2015.
I’d like a rails run through the World Cup, smooth sailing into the Final, and then for James Faulkner to hit the awkwardest, most beautiful but unrepeatable six over deep backward square to win the final by one run. Over India. Or South Africa. Or England. Or New Zealand. Or hell, Scotland or Afghanistan for all I care.
World Cup hosts don’t have the best record, and I’d like that to not apply this time around, thanks all the same.
I’d like to see a string of retirements in 2015, so that the next wave of regeneration can commence.
I’d like to see the selectors remember who Cameron White is.
And I’d like the Ashes retained by Edgbaston and a Big Bash team out of Manuka Oval. In no particular order.
I’d like umpires to notice no-balls when the front foot lands, not when the catch is taken on the boundary.
I’d like to watch more than twenty minutes of the Australian Open tennis and not be turned off by what sounds like the killing of a pig.
I’d like to be able to get into the A-League.
This is an early one, but I’d like the ASADA case to be done with by Christmas. And then I’d like James Hird to finally take responsibility for his actions.
I’d like New South Wales to retain the State of Origin shield, and for the games to be something other than an arm-wrestle.
I’d like the NRL to make up its mind on how many referees is best, and for video refs to be publicly pelted with boiled potatoes if they come up with any decision that defies logic and common sense.
I’d like to hear Ricky Stuart say in a press conference, “full credit to them, they were just too good for us,” and for Geoff Toovey to say, “refs have got a tough job, I can’t complain about something that trivial.”
I’d like to stop describing my golf game as “annual”.
And I’d like a lucrative multi-year TV deal to befall the way of The Cheap Seats podcast.
Failing all this, I’d like a couple of quiet beers on Christmas Day, and another enjoyable year of sport in 2015.
Thanks to everyone who read, discussed, shared, misconstrued, and deconstructed my columns this year.
All the very best Christmas and the New Year, and I hope as much of your sporting wish list gets crossed off as mine. Safe travels if you’re on the roads.