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Jake the Muss didn’t take too kindly to a heavy-set guy putting on a song from the juke box. This guy needed to be taught a lesson for interrupting a song everyone else had been enjoying.
As he strode confidently towards the jukebox, Jake summed up his opponent. An intimidating sight, the man cut an imposing figure. He was taller and much bigger in physique.
Jake the Muss was not deterred. He had identified the weakness. That bulk could undo him if the other connected. The trick was to land a few swift blows before he could connect.
Sure enough, Jake was proved right. The man could pack a devastating punch but he was laid out on the floor before he could deliver it.
Too much weights, not enough speed work.
There are interesting parallels that can be drawn from this scene in the cult Kiwi film Once Were Warriors and the modern rugby player.
Brian O’Driscoll was not the tallest player ever to have played the game. He was certainly one of the most skillful.
I read with great interest that one of the greatest players of the modern era didn’t like one bit how so much emphasis was placed nowadays on gym work.
Much like his New Zealand counterpart, Conrad Smith, he never enjoyed that aspect of the modern game.
He believed that the younger players put far too much stock into gym scores and didn’t pay enough attention to skill work like passing a ball ten metres on the fly.
There’s a big difference between rugby players becoming athletes and athletes becoming rugby players.
The name basic skills is a misnomer. For it implies that a modern professional player already possesses the core skills of passing, catching and knowing when and not to pass.
To catch, to pass. To score, perchance to dream; aye, there’s the rub.
In between big sets the younger players are dreaming of rugby immortality and lose sight of what’s going to give them that immortality.
O’Driscoll believed the set-up in New Zealand, with an emphasis on skill levels right from an early age, was a much better balance.
New Zealand may not have the bulk to physically dominate their opponents but they have the speed and skill to score those crucial points when they need to get themselves back into the game.
In short, the balance is there. And other teams are trying to emulate this.
When Sonny Bill Williams came onto the scene, the offload was by no means the round wheel nobody had encountered yet, but the fact it caught out quite a few defences meant that its implications had not been fully explored.
Interplay between backs has always been a part of the game but forwards are getting in on the act increasingly in the modern game.
It’s not just teams like New Zealand or Fiji who have traditionally been comfortable 1 through 15 with the passing game. Teams like Argentina and England have worked hard on their forwards’ ability to link up or keep the ball alive through offloads.
Forwards are no longer seen as grizzly, gnarled creatures who come to life at set play and then fade into an amorphous tangle of dark shadows as the limelight gets thrown onto the styled hair and moisturised skin standing out in the backs.
Rugby is still seen as a game of different sizes. Leigh Halfpenny inexplicably mistook himself for a forward and peeled off a ruck only to be quickly reminded by the New Zealand forwards that he most definitely did not belong in the tight exchanges.
When you look at the man lining up for a shot at goal, though, he looks like a cartoon character fed up on a mixture of spinach and Gallic potions.
Rugby, however, is increasingly narrowing the weight range of its players. Ardie Savea was told he could not survive in the modern game as a forward if he was under 100 kilos.
Before the Japanese club scene took off, my enduring image of Japan in the amateur era was a scene of fifteen Energizer Bunnies on ecstasy zipping around the field like moths flapping violently around a light source.
Foreign residents have bulked up their pack but my impression is that there is more solidity across the park just as there has been for all teams making the transition to the professional era.
Backs like O’Driscoll, Smith and Halfpenny may not be big players but they recognise that gym work is a necessary evil to offset the inevitable physical toil their bodies go through.
Reading Allanthus’ excellent article on Allan Hewson, it struck me that Hewson once lined up in a Test match weighing ten stone. Jerry Collins’ biceps weighed more than him put together!
Of course, this creates a vicious circle for those players who do not naturally weigh in around the 100 kilo mark. If you do not put on the bulk, you will not get picked or last long in the modern game.
As a result, the average weight goes up and tackling increases its attritional toll on the body. The cumulative effect of coming together time after time with bodies that deliver physical forces akin to a minor car crash mean that rugby players find it impossible to fully recover before the next match.
Being fully fit is an impossible dream. A flight of fancy like aiming to be a much-loved and respected referee of the game.
There will always be some minor niggle when you take the field. Your mind may be up for that next tackle but when it happens adrenaline masks the wear and tear of the countless tackles that have come before it.
Ice baths, pool sessions and compression create the illusion of recovery, even though they do provide the body with some respite. It’s just that a week is not enough time to allow full recovery.
I wonder where this progression will take us in the modern game. Will the day arrive when we balk at the incredible bulk of our rugby players?
Injuries have always been a part of rugby due to its physical nature but have we become complacent about injuries in the modern game?
There seems to be a disturbing common acceptance that you’ll never get your best fifteen out on the park. You’ll always have to dip into the talent of your wider squad.
Power and physicality are greatly prized. We crave contact.
Jeff Wilson always said he was trying to avoid contact. Self-preservation no doubt was in the corner of his mind but so too was the thought of keeping the ball alive.
Nowadays, players often willingly go in search of contact in an attempt to drive over the advantage line and set up quick recycled ball in order to get the opposition defence on the back foot.
They use their bulk and hopefully good body position to achieve that.
Naturally, the opposition defence is wise to this and look to drive back attacks like South Africa did in Wellington when they had their big men waiting for the short offloads from the props.
Innovation and skill can only get you so far in the modern game. You have to be patient to wear an opponent down and you have to have the right intensity and application to get your team over the advantage line.
This is difficult to achieve on a consistent basis. Bulk is a necessary evil because you cannot break through an opponent over eighty minutes if you don’t have it.
The trick is getting the balance right between bulk, fitness and skill. The wise old heads can sniff out an opponent’s weakness but much like Jake the Muss, you’re only ever a lucky punch away from being knocked out.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.