So the Australian Open is upon us once again, and the Fairfax press has found an insider’s view into the tribulations of the professional tennis player.
I look forward to Andy Murray’s article every year. I particularly look forward to the parts where he tells is stuff we already know, but in a less polished (and engaging) way than we would otherwise read about.
The amount of charisma he exudes both on and off the court really translates to the written word. However, as brilliant as his insights are, surely they could get any number of other writers on board?
I asked some of the Open’s other well-known attendees to write a piece on their own Open experience. Here are some excerpts:
Big Head Guy
“This is a tough fortnight for me, but being able to run laps around Rod Laver Arena for no apparent reason and make every Neil Kearney highlights reel is the reward for all that hard work…”
Person Who Still Thinks Baghdatis Is A Genuine Shot At Winning
“As the years have gone on, people have told me that no matter how many Greek-Cypriots rock up at Show Court 3 in the late evening, he is unlikely to beat anyone in the top 50. But I don’t care, even if I am the only one watching him practice at court 19. Remember when he broke all those racquets in a row? I just can’t bear the thought of missing something like that…”
Dimwit Who Still Whistles Where The Cyclops Would Have Beeped
“It’s not as though I don’t know that Cyclops is gone, it’s that I don’t care. Sure, it gets hard whistling when everyone else is gearing up to clap along with the Hawkeye, but I feel there’s an important tradition here; a lost artform that I am keeping alive. The Open’s heritage is more than just Rod Laver, you know…”
Girls Wearing Letters Of *insert young up-and-comer name here*’s name on Crop Tops
“We plan it for weeks beforehand: the font, the colours…but also how many of us there are going to be. If we were watching Li Na, me and Jules could just go together; but now Kokkinakis coming good, we had to start a Facebook event just to get the numbers up – I’m just glad we never had to support Arantxa Sanchez-Vicario…”
Heineken Tent Guy
“The Australian what? I’m just here to Daryl Braithwaite, mate. Jeez the beer’s expensive, but…”
Valuable insights, all. But you certainly gain a renewed respect for Andy Murray’s remarkable insights, such as the following.
“It was just good to take a couple of weeks off and then just start training again, getting back on the court and working on some things and trying to get better”
Never change, Andy.
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