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Six Nations: Fighting your best enemy

Stuart Lancaster's men managed to miss out on Six Nations glory yet again. (Image: AFP)
Roar Guru
26th January, 2015
82

February is just around the corner and for Ireland, Wales, Scotland, England, France and Italy it means it’s time to fight.

No world supremacy at stake, nor ‘European champion’ trophy to claim. No need. It’s beyond that, beyond getting gold or playing a final, claiming a title.

No, it’s just about fighting, fighting your brother, your cousin, your step-dad, your neighbour, your colleague, your mate.

Yes, a backyard scrap, a two month-long all-in fight between six nations who have a common history, dozens of wars, territory disputes, independence aspirations, that’s what it is.

I love you, me neither (Gainsbourg). You have to fight the bloke next door, the guy you see every day of your life. That’s why for decades the historic five thought ‘why bother with a World Cup’ when you have such a competition that satisfies all your animalistic, patriotic needs? Nothing can top that and in a way, nothing has.

The French call it ‘le tournoi‘. No need to say the full name: when someone talks about ‘the tournament’ we know what he is talking about: the sport, the opponents, the time of the year. It’s time to fight your best enemies, time for the family affair.

When you know your opponents so well, you tend to instinctively box them, see them the way that has been passed on to you by the players themselves, the commentators you listened to as a kid, your elders. Each of the six has a tag, a reputation, in other words a good reason to have their arse kicked by your team.

That’s what I want to look into now, who are the six and what’s their street cred?

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England
They are tournament’s best enemy and team to beat in this part of the world. At all costs. Only the Italians, perhaps, haven’t the history that makes this game so special for the rest. A year in which you rack up four losses can be redeemed with a win against England.

You always turn up against England, no extra motivation needed. They are the Six Nations’ historical benchmark and axis, the guys you measure yourself against. The England match is everyone’s blockbuster.

No one is more battle-hardened than these guys, it’s in their DNA. England are always a formidable opponent whose only goal is to shut you up then shake your hand after 80 minutes, the traditional ‘good game’ and de rigueur smirk capping it all.

They are the team to beat no matter what. The mother of all battles, la guerre.

France
The fifth brother, the estranged one. That’s what they were for decades until the Italians joined in. They are on the continent, speak a different language, don’t get what ‘fair play’ is about. They are the ugly ones, the dirty ones, the eye gougers, brawlers of the pack. The dark, ugly face of romanticism. It’s in them: a rugby field is a no man’s land in which anything goes.

The French initially lamented professionalism, the IRB, the Anglo power, southern hemisphere’s modern vision, the rugby World Cup itself as they knew all this was going to kill the rugby they knew.

They have infringed, punched and eye-gouged on all European grounds. It’s what they are renowned for. France is the team to crush, to wipe out, to stand up to.

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Let’s mess the Frogs up. They love it.

Wales
Wearing red when you play a brutal sport like rugby is a statement: we are not afraid of drawing blood. There is something mythical about them, something different, dunno what really. Is it because of the Welsh rugby legends of the pre-80s we heard so much about? Or are we just reminiscing our first rugby emotions, the goosebumps we had when we saw, heard, felt Cardiff’s Arms park?

One thing is certain: no one in Europe ever underestimates the Welsh, no matter what has their form been in the months before the battles.

They are the only true rugby nation among the six, they represent the history of the game. They are the ‘Six Nations Tournament’, more so than anyone else.

Ireland
The rebels, the outcasts, the islanders who will protect their land at all costs. When you grow up in Europe’s 1980s you know two things about Ireland: the IRA and Irish teams’ fighting spirit.

Nothing is simple or smooth with the Irish and certainly not a rugby match against them. For us continentals, they have achieved what the Welsh and Scots haven’t: the political and historical aura they have ‘earned’ can be felt on rugby fields too.

For many French supporters Ireland feels like a second home-team. And for the Bretons it even goes further, it’s their Celtic homeland, nothing less.

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The Irish won’t go down without a fight. They are the tournament’s pit bulls, they never let go.

Scotland
They have a low-key status that suits them all right. No one among us really hate them but for decades (when we were five), we all knew that a win at home or Murrayfield was likely to be the difference between a wooden spoon or not.

The great thing when you aren’t English is that you have the feeling the Scots will use all their stamina and anger against their southern foes. They have talent and class. Scotland are the younger brother you know you have to beat, somehow reluctantly.

But if you are English, you know you will feel the ire of the whole nation when you travel to Murrayfield. And not just a wee bit.

Italy
The late comers, the non-rugby nation. When they were invited to join in 2000, most of us thought the Italians would be the sacrificial lambs of the bunch for the next 20 years. The football divas on a rugby pitch, really?

How wrong were we! Many have discovered an aspect of Italy we didn’t know about. ‘Les ritals‘ have embraced the sport, the tournament’s tradition. They have earned their spot all right.

Italy are the strangers, the guests who will tear you apart if you don’t respect them. A country which has the Calcio Storico in their blood has its place in our European tournament, we should have known better.

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So yes, the next two months may be cold, wet, muddy, ugly. The rugby played may be poor, uninspiring and unwatchable at times, that’s true. It has occasionally been all this in the past, no question.

But for the six and their people, and for others who love rugby, all rugby, they will love it. As soon as the first anthem resonates our rugby instincts will take over, it has always been and will always be like that.

Like a life-long family feud, we need to be who we are.

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