Now that Prince Philip has received his deserved knighthood, a question arises. Why not expand the number of gongs, since they’ve superseded the existing OAMs and XYZs?
A new category of lordship would be in order to kick it off, and there’s only one nominee for first recipient.
Arise, Lord Richie Benaud.
This award would be universally acclaimed, and no explanation necessary. He would be joined by new knights, Sir Kenneth Thornett and Sir Douglas Walters.
Thornett may be fondly remembered as ‘the Mayor’, but he was far more than that mere appellation. In his playing days, Thornett represented everything that was noble and good, and no-one has ever fought harder for truth, justice and the Parramatta way.
Walters once received the finest tribute ever paid to an Australian sportsperson.
When Australians did the impoverished tour of Europe in dusty, clapped-out kombi vans that had names painted on the side, there it was in bold letters on the side 35 years ago: Doug Walters Tours.
That’s fame, and tributes don’t come more heartfelt than that.
Frank Tyson is no ring-in, now Philip’s got his gong, and anyhow, former English fast bowler and schoolmaster Tyson has been a Victorian resident for decades. Tyson deserves a medal for coining the finest bit of alliteration in the English language.
Some might plump for the likes of Coleridge’s “Five miles meandering with a mazy motion”, but Tyson’s “Duggie, the dynamic dasher from Dungog” is unbeatable.
Betty Cuthbert, of Ermington origin, and Maureen Caird, of Seven Hills, would become Dames. Surely no argument from the sister or brotherhood for the two finest female athletes in Olympic history.
An inaugural collective medal would be awarded to the greatest team in sporting history: Parramatta’s first rugby league premiership winner, the 1964 third-grade side, celebrated in poetry and song. Individual and posthumous medals for all too.
The likes of Johnny Wicks, Mick Dennis, Ern Gillon, Gary McCalla, Ron Workman, Matt Johnston and the rest – will we ever see such a collection of stars in the galaxy again? They all deserve to be immortals.
A further innovation could be awards to deserving educational institutions.
The Meadows Public School at Seven Hills, which produced the future Dame Maureen and five-times Henley sculls winner Stuart MacKenzie, and Lord Benaud’s alma mater, Parramatta High School, should get the first guernseys.
Last, an award for a business trailblazer should be instituted. The rotary motor mower, the Hills hoist, Vegemite… all remembered as symbols of Australian innovation.
Another now-forgotten trailblazer deserves to be remembered with them – Summons and Graham, the drinks that made Parramatta famous. There hasn’t been a decent soft drink since S&G stopped production.
Lest this collection seem too insular, now Prince Philip has set the standard, his daughter Princess Anne, former European sportswoman of the year, deserves to be a dame.
As dad said of daughter’s equine devotion, if it didn’t fart and eat hay, she wasn’t interested. An inspiration to all Aussie equestrians and just another reason why Philip deserved his gong.
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