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I like the cut of Marwan Koukash’s jib. He’s a dangerous thinker with a cowboy approach to business, plus he’s got so much money that he doesn’t have to think about money.
His rich, reckless fruitiness is perfect for the volatility of rugby league in Australia.
If history has taught us anything, it’s that magnates who dabble in football clubs and racehorses are always a safe bet, and that’s why we should loosen up and get freaky with the Salford Reds owner before he takes his cheque book elsewhere.
For those stung by the unscrupulous suitors of the past, have no fear. Koukash has the look of a man who intends to engage in a marathon romp with local league, as evidenced by months of floozy bedroom eyes towards the NRL and plenty of predatory sniffing around struggling clubs while flaunting his proverbial g-string of gold.
While this is a disturbing metaphor, please don’t let it put you off – the man is worth a crack. Despite the appeal of being breathlessly wealthy, he’s also a passionate visionary, he doesn’t care what squares like David Smith think, and most importantly, he’s not Nathan Tinkler.
For these important reasons, it’s time the NRL began entertaining his left-field overtures, and they could start by giving consideration to his outrageous idea to plant a franchise in the deep freeze of England. Yes, to play rugby league, in the NRL, on a week-in week-out basis.
Prima facie, setting up a team in Europe for a 26-week competition in the antipodes has the potential to be a logistical horror show that would cost the farm, plus require a whopping upheaval of draws, scheduling, broadcasting, sponsorship, funding, licensing and governance. But despite all of this, it really is a terrific idea.
Besides extinguishing debate on the ‘toughest road trip in the game’, plus giving rugby league’s finest weekly attempts at beating Boonie’s cans record, a team in England would help achieve something even more important- to assist the Lion nation’s floundering international program to revive, nurture and then ultimately prosper.
As we know, the NRL is famous for it’s generosity in opening up its borders to include the sleeping giants of the world. Well, when I say ‘generous’, they’ve done it once, which they would probably consider generous.
We all recall when Australian rugby league included the Warriors in 1995. It was done with the greater good in mind, plus to allow easily-amused ockers to indulge in countless calls of ‘set of sux’ each week.
Who could imagine the way it’s turned out?
A few decades on, and we’re still taking the mickey out of the accent. More importantly, the international game now has a formidable Kiwis outfit that’s better for just the odd Test win or stink in the tunnel.
While there may be a wait before it bears fruit, and it may cost Australian clubs a Phil Blake or two, can you imagine the effect that an English NRL side would have on their national team in ten years’ time? I see into the future and I’m thrilled – they could be a self-sufficient force again that’s totally weaned off the Burgii.
But alas, setting up the saviour of Koukash’s self-titled ‘British Bulldogs’ won’t be easy. Players are already tired, there’s a lot of stopovers of temptation on a long haul flight, and broadcasters are sure to crack the poos about a 7am EST kickoff slot.
Add to this, we haven’t even mentioned the role of the English Super League in the structure, the team’s location, and how the hell we will put up with Pommy commentators. I’ll leave all of those spicy meatballs for the Roarers to deal with.
Either way, Koukash is as mad as a cut snake, and I like him and his money. With the NRL in rude health and the bigger picture in mind, this idea is so crazy that it just could work!