Rabbit season, duck season, rabbit season, duck season…no it’s NRL season!
April 19, marked the 85th anniversary of the first ever Looney Tunes animation. The title of that cartoon back in 1930, was “singin’ in the bathtub”.
The cartoons from Warner Bros were a huge part of the golden age of animation between 1930-1969.
Many of the Looney Tunes characters were voiced by Mel Blanc, who was known as the man with a thousand voices. Incidentally, this author and Blanc share the same birthday – May 30.
As I delve into my imagination, if there ever was Looney Tunes NRL team it may look something like this:
Looney Tunes All Stars
1.Wile E. Coyote
At times, Coyote can keep up with the Road Runner for speed, until the Road Runner goes up another gear and flies off into the distance. I like fullbacks who have creativity and there’s no doubt having someone who is a super genius like Wile E. should fit the bill.
Individually, Coyote will have a third party sponsor arrangement with the ACME Corporation.
2.Road Runner
Very quick and always one step ahead of the Coyote. However, in this team, will the Road Runner and Coyote work together? The pair might kiss and make up after the match by playing a game of tennis using a grenade instead of a tennis ball.
3. Pepe le Pew
Deceiptively le quick, Le Pew bounces along at a leisurely pace, while his object of affection, Penelope Pussycat is scrambling around at hundred miles an hour to avoid the skunk. As a smelly skunk, many players in the opposition wouldn’t want to go near Le Pew, let alone tackle him.
Possibly French Rugby League’s greatest ever player.
4. Tasmanian Devil
As a centre, he will be tearing into opposition defences into a whirlwind. However when it comes to after match interviews, the Tassie Devil is easily the most articulately spoken Looney Tunes player in the side.
I am serious.
5. Speedy Gonzales
Holy Frijoles, Gonzales is very speedy. The sombrero-loving rodent prefers cheese instead of oranges at half time. Would love to see a match race between the Road Runner and the fastest mouse in all of Mexico, similar to the Martin Offiah/ Lee Oudenryn contest back a few decades ago.
6. Daffy Duck
This little black duck does find his halves partner despicable. There is a possibility that when he does get the ball, he can be a hog and could potentially be detrimental to the side.
Whenever he receives the ball, he yells out, “It’s mine, ya understand? Mine, mine, all mine!
7. Bugs Bunny (c)
Introduces himself to his teammates by saying “What’s up doc”? The captain and organiser of this team. Very smart and a shrewed trickster.
Bugs will play halfback and will never dare packing into a scrum, otherwise he’d be bellowing “Stop steaming up my tail!. What are you trying to do wrinkle it”
Wouldn’t be out of place on The Footy Show, as Bugs likes to dress up in drag from time to time. Huge fan of South Sydney and a lover of carrots.
13. Porky Pig
A chubby, timid character. With his weight issues, he may struggle to play 80 minutes. I’m sure he will be brought back on in the last five minutes and when the ref blows his whistle for full time, Porky will be squealing, “ebitda, ebitda, ebitda…That’s all, Folks!”
12. Sylvester the Cat
“Sufferin succotash”, Sylvester is in the forward pack! Sylvester and former league player Terry Hill have common ground – they both sound exactly the same. But will Sylvester concentrate on his job, or will he be distracted when Tweety comes off from the bench?
11. Sam the Sheepdog
As a player, he vary rarely moves, but if the opposition is near, he can cause damage in defence. He would be very good at offloading the ball to his quicker teammates. The liability with Sam is he could be in the process of scoring a try, but would stop when he notices the punch clock is close to full time.
In the words of Sam the Sheepdog, “it’s too close to quittin time”. Hopefully he doesn’t mix up Coyote for Ralph.
10.Foghorn Leghorn
I say pay attention everyone, the mighty Rooster from the country is the major forward leader in the pack. He does have an opinion or two on his arch enemy and team mate, Barnyard Dawg.
“That, I say, that dog’s busier then a centipede at a toe countin’ contest”
“That dog is like taxes, he just don’t know when to stop”
“That dog, I say that dogs strictly GI, gibberin idiot that is”
“That dog’s as subtle as a hand grenade in a barrel of oatmeal”
9.Marvin the Martian
He will find plenty of space from dummy half. Some of his play from the hooking position can be out of this world. However the real vexing question is, will he use the illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator?
8. Hector the Bulldog
As a Canterbury fan, he does love the forwards aspect of the game. Needs to keep an eye on Sylvester, especially when Tweety comes onto the field.
Interchange
14. Tweety (five-eighth)
Crafty Tweety will play five-eighth and come on to replace Daffy Duck where ineveitably, his mistakes will always blow up at his face and disheveled his beak. Tweety may have trouble with his pronunciation of words such as “I taut I taw a puddy tat”, but let’s hope his teammates understand him.
15. Yosemite Sam (hooker)
Sam will be disappointed not to be captain of the side. That honour goes to that varmint, Bugs Bunny. He will come on to replace Marvin the Martian at hooker. His impact will be all guns blazing.
If his football career doesn’t shape up well, he could always ride Buck the Bronco in Brisbane Broncos home games. Lets hope Buck the Bronco responds to Sam’s instructions, otherwise he’ll cop a whack. “When I say whoa, I mean WHOA!”
16. Barnyard Dawg (second rower)
Like so many in the team, Dawg does have a love hate relationship with a team mate. Will Dawg replace his nemisis, Foghorn Leghorn, or will they be on the same field together?
Unlike previous feuds like Coyote-Road Runner and Sylvester-Tweety, both Dawg and Leghorn can be on the receiving end of some punishment.
17. Mugsy (prop)
The big offsider to gangster Rocky. Mugsy may not be the sharpest tool in the shed as he never gets any ideas, but as forward, all he has to do is run hard and cause violence in defence courtesy of his big frame.
Meanwhile, Rocky will be wondering how on earth Mugsy made this side. “I don’t how yas done it but I know yas done it!”
Coach: Elmer Fudd
If Elmer Fudd was an NRL player, he would love to have played for the Woosters, Wabbitohs and Waiders.He may not be a Jack Gibson or Wayne Bennett, but he will instruct his team and devise a game plan to succeed. If that doesn’t work, he could always use his double-barrel shotgun to scare his players.
With players prone to making mistakes like Daffy Duck and Wile E. Coyote, Fudd could be pulling his hair out. Actually, too late.
CEO: Granny
Follows in the footsteps of Raelene Castle, by becoming another female CEO of an NRL team. However, heavens to betsys, how is she going to control this team full of Looney Tunes characters?
So what opposition does this all star Looney Tunes team play against. Maybe a team comprising all the key characters from Disney? Now some people may label that concept as a bit of a Mickey Mouse sort of a game, but I would like to see it.
No matter how old you are, whenever you get the chance to watch an old Looney tunes classic, it does bring back memories from childhood and it does reinforce the fact that we are all young at heart.
Looney Tunes has really brought a smile to many generations and will continue to do so.
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