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With just one round until the Super Rugby finals start, the top six have emerged and this week they will decide among themselves who finishes where.
I have a few great (possibly forced, you decide) cultural references as an ode to a changing of the guard in Super Rugby.
The following song being the number one single on the ARIA charts at the end of 2001 illustrates what a strange year it was:
Furthermore, the Moulin Rouge soundtrack was the number one selling album of the year. (The Bridget Jones’s Diary soundtrack came in 11th. How do you make a soundtrack out of a woman sitting around smoking!?)
Other musical mistakes in 2001 included letting people think Bob the Builder should make music; we didn’t kill Nickelback when they released How You Remind Me and they’re still going; we let Nikki Webster continue to make music, and Shaggy had two top-five songs – which should have been cause to cancel music in this country.
We had a bad year. And it wasn’t just a notable year for our bad taste in music.
On May 19, 2001, the first Apple store opened in New York City, and the Sharks beat the Cats and the Brumbies beat the Reds in the Super Rugby semi-finals.
You’ll notice I didn’t say the Crusaders were playing; that’s because the Crusaders missed the Super Rugby finals that year. In an aberration that could easily have torn a hole in the space-time continuum, the men from Christchurch weren’t there when the knockout rounds began.
And here we are in 2015 and the Crusaders will, again – no, finally – miss the finals of a Super Rugby season.
With only one game to play, the maximum number of points they can earn is five. They can’t make it from here because they are seven points back. Even if the Crusaders use their voodoo magic to beat the Brumbies and score eight tries so SANZAR somehow award them two bonus points, they still can’t make the finals.
(I’m being thorough here, you never know with these last minute jinxes.)
It’s an amazing feat. Every year between 2002 and 2014 the Crusaders made the Super Rugby finals – in fact they finished in the top four each time as well.
They didn’t require any fancy pants top six, even when it was on offer in the last three years of that run.
On June 19, 2015, teams will play the first of the knockout matches for the year and the Saders will not be there. Apple will probably open a store on Mars or something too.
When that first qualifying final kicks off, remember to the check the space-time continuum for any rips or tears, and have pegs and sticky tape handy to quickly handle them before they get too big.
This is going to feel weird. The only thing we don’t know is what movie soundtracks we are all going to be suckered into buying for our girlfriends, wives and daughters.
The lesson to take away from the Crusaders missing the finals is this.
Back in April I predicted the Crusaders wouldn’t make the finals. An absurdly early prediction given they always make the finals and you aren’t supposed to predict anything against the Crusaders because they use it as ammunition to break your heart.
But I stuck my neck out with the impossible prediction and nailed it.
If you need any other juggernauts stopped let me know.
(No, the meme isn’t 100 per cent correct, I make predictions every weekend in the expert tips column and they’re pretty bad.)
So: where to from here for the Crusaders?
Next year will see a changing of the guard. Dan Carter is taking off to France after the World Cup, and Richie McCaw is expected to either hang up the boots and take up his rightful place as ruler of the world or pad his own superannuation account in Europe as well.
Those are two dynastic cornerstones someone has to replace. Undoubtedly other players will take the European cash in a World Cup year as well.
And then we get to Todd Blackadder.
Despite being a constant finalist under Blackadder’s watch until this year, the Crusaders haven’t added to their seven championships (what an obscene number, such hogs) since Robbie Deans made the ill-fated decision to get involved in Australian rugby in 2008.
Blackadder has one year left on the three-year deal he signed in 2013. Stability and continuing the same traditions, patterns and habits are some of the reasons the Crusaders have been so successful over the years, but the Crusaders are all about championships.
Is it time to bring back Robbie Deans? Is it time to look elsewhere? Making life easier for Blackadder is the fact that his assistants don’t appear to be obvious championship-winning coaches. So a sacking now would be more pronounced than Crusaders management is used to.
As I said at the top this an ode to a changing of the guard. It has been a clumsy, ham-fisted attempt but this column is meant to be my farewell to a special era of rugby.
The Crusaders won’t be the same next year as they were during their epic run through Super Rugby, during which they broke all of our hearts, many times. During which they dazzled. During which they out-smarted. During which they took those broken hearts and reversed over them another time.
They were ruthless, they were victorious often, and they’re about to be gone. Take a moment to remember a once-in-a-lifetime team.
One thing Super Rugby got right in 2001 was an Australian team – the Brumbies – won the title, here’s to that happening again.
And in 2001, one small bit of music taste we got right was buying lots of copies of a great Australian rock album in Powderfinger’s Odyssey Number Five.
Here is that trusty classic that will allow you take 2001 seriously again.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.