The second week of the Trans-Tasman Netball League finals saw things get heated on and off the court. The grand final teams have been decided and the wrath of the Sky TV gods in New Zealand has been incurred – we’re in for a hell of a week.
The first semi-final saw the Northern Mystics forced to put their end of season hijinks on hold to play a game of netball. Apparently they were supposed to be trying to win it in order to progress to the grand final, but it seems nobody told them that.
The main point of interest surrounding the Mystics this week was the colour of their socks, demonstrating that not one single person believed they were capable of winning this game, so they had to find something else to talk about.
Captain Maria Tutaia and fellow sock fiend Kayla Cullen were notably subdued this week, with Tutaia forgoing her “match the socks to the other team” tactics and Cullen finally doing a load of washing and discovering she did in fact own a matching pair.
The Firebirds were devastatingly dominant, stretching their lead to 10 by half-time, with Goal Attack Gretel Tippett giving up her shoulder charging ways to focus on shooting goals, which disappointed those people who really enjoy complaining about how rough Gretel Tippett is.
She also shot her goals in a very traditional netball manner, which really upset those who enjoy complaining about how Gretel Tippett shoots like a basketballer and maybe she should go back to basketball. Come to think of it, those might be the same people.
Laura Geitz did her usual “get a lot of intercepts and rebounds and inspire the team to victory” thing. Really, it’s getting old Laura. Might want to think about mixing it up a bit and coming up with some new moves. Call me; I’ve got some ideas.
In the other game, both teams seemed to be aware that they were playing in a semi final, which was a novel twist, but it seemed to work well. The first quarter was a tight contest, with Magic taking a narrow lead. It looked like we were in for an exciting, goal-for-goal match, but Magic decided they wanted to show the Mystics how you really go into the half-time break down by 10 goals by doing just that.
Coach Julie Fitzgerald reminded her team that they’re actually no longer playing within the conference system and being just as awful as the Mystics wasn’t going to cut it any longer. Once they understood the point was to win this game against the Swifts, things looked up and they pulled the score back to within two by the end of the third quarter.
The Swifts grew increasingly desperate in their attempts to derail the match, even resorting to trying to concuss umpire Jono Bredin by pegging the ball at his head, but to no avail.
So they tried an even wackier tactic of bringing Kim Green – their captain and best mid-court player – into the game for the final quarter.
Annoyed at having her nap on the bench interrupted, Green took it out on the Magic – perhaps unfairly, considering they weren’t the ones who interrupted her – stamping her authority all over the game like she was Shane Watson playing in a dead rubber.
Fox Sports rugby league commentator and all-round top bloke Andrew Voss, took to Twitter to complain about this game being broadcast live on ABC radio.
Missed the greatest play of the season in the @NRL Listening to netball on ABC.
— Andrew Voss (@AndrewVossy) June 14, 2015
While that seems like a rather petty and mean-spirited thing to complain about, given the status women’s sport is usually afforded in Australia and the fact that this game wasn’t going to be shown on free-to-air TV until the following day, Voss was rightly upset.
The game between the Canterbury Bulldogs and Gold Coast Titans was cut short in order to begin the netball coverage in time – something that has never been done to netball, except for that time ABC TV didn’t play the last quarter of a live netball Test between Australia and New Zealand because they had to show a repeat of Seachange or something equally pressing.
And what a rugby league game it was as well – a battle of epic proportions, between eighth and 11th on the ladder, with all the stars who aren’t good enough for State of Origin on show.
It must have been a real disappointment to all the people who don’t own televisions or can’t figure out how to change the channel to Nine to miss out on that one. Fortunately now that Voss has finally given a voice to men’s sport, it’s a mistake that’s unlikely to be repeated for something so small as a semi final.
So now we look forward to the final week of the season, delighting in the fact that even the invention of a conference system that doesn’t allow New Zealand teams to lose has resulted in New Zealand teams losing and two Australian teams contesting the grand final once again.
The Sky TV gods have been angered and what their punishment will be, we will have to wait to find out. In the meantime, we say goodbye to New Zealand and wish them the best of luck in the preparation for the Netball World Cup. And I mean the very best of luck, because they’re really going to need it.
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