Tennis world number 29 Nick Kyrgios has finally accepted a lucrative UFC contract after irresistible offers from all around the sporting community to fight the 20-year-old.
The young Australian’s brash persona has meant he has made innumerable enemies in his short professional career who are reportedly willing to front up breathtaking amounts of money to “wipe that s***-eating grin off his face”, as one unnamed opponent stated.
While the negotiations have not been officially confirmed, an inside source has stated that the three-fight contract is expected to be worth upwards of US$20 million.
Nick Kyrgios needs a coach who isn't afraid to tell him off and give him the occasional fucking punch
— Matt (@Matt_Woody13) July 6, 2015
A group named the ‘Wimbledon Chair Umpires’ have submitted a request to the governing body to fight the tennis sensation in what is understood to be a revolutionary new tag-team format.
James Keothavong, Mohammed Layhani and Carlos Bernardes all copped Kyrgios’ ire in his 2015 Wimbledon run and are looking for revenge – with Keothavong being quoted as saying “his socks won’t be the only things that need changing”.
While Keothavong and Layhani are well-known street fighters in their native countries, the South American Bernardes poses a problem for his team.
His training is in the Brazilian martial arts form Capoeria, which involves a lot of quick and complex moves – none of which are designed to make contact with an opponent.
@NickKyrgios LEARN SOME CLASS YOU TW*T! @milosraonic should smack you for waving your arms during his overhead! #Wimbledon #Kyrgios
— Ted Suehsdorf (@ThisTedTalks) July 5, 2015
The next challenger for Kyrgios will be 77-year-old brawler Dawn Fraser, who spoke exclusively to The Roar.
“I can’t wait to knock that little punk’s block off”, the Olympic swimming champion said as she skulled a whole glass of raw eggs.
“By the time I’m done with him, he’ll wish he was back in Czechoslovakia or Zaire or wherever he’s from”, she continued – evidently unaware that those countries no longer exist.
When told he was actually born in Canberra she promptly changed her tune,
“Oh… no, not there. That’s far too harsh.”
Throwing a racket, brat. Debating the rules, disrespectful. Frustrated when competing, spoilt. Showing emotion,…
Posted by Nick Kyrgios on Day o' the Moon, Jul-aye! 6, 2015
The final fight will be the showpiece event: Nick Kyrgios vs Floyd Mayweather.
Mayweather has never fought in an MMA bout before, but UFC President Dana White said public interest was massive for the fight.
“Frankly, both Floyd and Nick are equally despised by the general public and everybody basically just wants to see one of, or hopefully both, get the living crap beaten out of them.”
When asked about Kyrgios’ chances against one of the world’s best boxers, White stated
“I think he’ll be fine, the kid has shown an uncanny ability to pick fights with absolutely anyone at anytime. Where most rational people would just shrug off a bad decision, he blows up in an infernal rage. This isn’t his first rodeo.
“After watching last night though, I am slightly concerned he’ll get upset with the referee and tank the fight in the second round.”
CAN SOMEONE SMACK NICK KYRGIOS
— Emily ❁ (@emilywade_) July 2, 2015
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