The Roar
The Roar

Advertisement

Four completely reasonable explanations for Tennis Australia's a-Tomic typo

Bernard Tomic rocking some sweet speed-dealers he picked up from the servo before his win over Feliciano Lopez. AP Photo/Rob Griffith
Editor
14th July, 2015
14

Tennis Australia have copped a lot of flak lately for #ShameGate2015. But there are plenty of perfectly rational reasons for the notorious email that said Bernard Tomic was playing in the ‘Hall of Shame’ Championships.

1. An Ancient Curse

For the record, here is Tennis Australia’s 100% feasible explanation for the email.

“Tennis Australia sincerely apologises for the typo in the daily results service today… the result listing before the Hall of Fame Championships, the Sharm El Sheikh event in Egypt, won by Astra Sharma, should provide some explanation as to how this error occurred.”

Sheikh

But of course! Can’t you see, sheeple? It was the Sheikh the whole time! The Sheikh I tell you!

The devilish fiend’s dark and mysterious powers hoodwinked Tennis Australia’s poor, helpless staff writer with his cunning alliterative ploys.

Advertisement

As the ancient prophecy dictates:

“He who writes the Sheik’s true name in a result listing is destined to accidentally pen a crappy, childish slander of one of its players in the very next section”

Spooky.

2. An actual typo

Hey idiots, is it that inconceivable that maybe a person pressed the wrong buttons on a keyboard? Is that really such a preposterous proposition?

Can you not wrap your tiny, cynical, narrow-minded brains around the fact that maybe, just maybe the writer went to hit the ‘F’ button and had a sudden-onset hand spasm that caused the muscles in their palm and forearm to contract in such a way that he or she lost complete control of their fine motor functions and then, as a result, hit the wrong buttons on the keyboard in such a way that it coincidentally spelt out a sweet burn on a player who has recently been badmouthing the very organisation that the writer works for?

Is that so hard to believe?

Advertisement

Here’s a handy infographic showing how plausible it truly is.

3. Someone hacked into their computer.

We’ve all been there. You leave your computer open for one second at the office and then your mischievous colleague Martin comes in and opens up an incognito window with over 20 tabs of of depraved and disturbing pornographic material in accounts under your name that you definitely weren’t perusing last night and forgot about in the morning and then you go to open up your internet browser and they all pop up, loudly, and Martin does that hilarious thing where he pretends that he didn’t do it and says he literally only just got into the office.

Hahahahahahaha. Great joke Martin.

Maybe this was exactly like that. I for one, would expect everyone to give me the benefit of the doubt and stop calling me “gimp-boy”, so maybe we should afford the writer the same privilege.

Advertisement

4. Tennis Australia is run by an insular bunch of career bureaucrats and ex-players who have, over many years, exhibited a culture of systemic immaturity, petulance and incompetence and this latest gaffe is very much in line with this pattern of behaviour

Nahh, that couldn’t be it.

close