The contemporary league bench is a vital revolving door for breathers, breakers and bad decision-makers. But in what may come as a shock to the kiddies, there was a time when its use was regarded as ‘sending in the clowns’.
It seems crazy to think that unused beef could go to waste without contributing a tight 20 before halftime. But it’s true; the olden days of rugby league looked upon those on the reserves bench as an afterthought, much like supper or home insurance.
These were the pre-interchange days. It was a different time in footy, a time when life was simpler.
Pants were high, commentary was nasal, and the bench was only used for contingencies or the eleventh hour. They were the second-grade citizens of first-grade competition. The only rotations and minutes spoken of were by ferris wheel carnies.
Old school benchies were underprivileged battlers who came from many backgrounds. Not skilled enough to earn the rich shillings of a starting position, some were ring-ins and close relatives of the board, while others were skinny kids who were crippled with cramp after playing 15 grades on the same day.
Hoping for a fairytale 60 minutes but resigned to a complimentary five, they all laced up knowing only a margin of 60 or a reduction to nine players was a ironclad guarantee of running on, their underdog status highlighted in the 78th minute by a pristine jersey in a sea of mud.
Fast forward to now, and the rugby league benchie has come a long way. The inroads are significant. They are now considered equals. This is because the swapsies era has transformed the bench into something all-inclusive and tactically relevant. It’s now a service called upon to spark and revitalise, while also providing an important place to keep ice buckets, exercise bikes and Kurt Gidley.
While the modern bench is fluid, for the most part it is an unimaginative collection of homogenised doormen. Power is the blueprint and a point of difference can be rolled gold.
Compared to its predecessors, the bench of the 21st century has healthy self-esteem. In fact, I would say that besides defence, kicking, refereeing, tidal patterns and the Cowboys rort, it could be one of the major factors in deciding this year’s premiership race.
But who of the possibles is packing the most punch off the pine? And who’s carrying some sexy x-factor?
To help me answer my own question, I’ve scoured the contenders and come up with four ressie-related factors that could punch this competition fare in the whiskers.
Des Hasler’s surplus size and spark
It’s no secret that Coach Hasler loves a fatso or two on his bench, and that’s why it usually comes with its own postcode. It’s also no secret that he has too many playmakers and that he’s crap at fractions, hence his failure to fit three in to two.
For this reason, he’ll be forced to carry either a rep-level ballplayer or a slippery whippet as one of his reinforcements. Poor Des.
So in addition to their horrific size with henchmen like David Klemmer and Sam Kasiano, the Bulldogs will also pack a handy sparkplug when Josh Reynolds returns to complete the three-way headache with Trent Hodkinson and Moses Mbye.
Hasler will have a circuit-breaker forced upon his yardage-based gameplan, because he wouldn’t drop a departing Origin half, an untested rookie or a loose cannon, would he?
Rooster boosters
Call me biased, but this bench possesses more explosive capabilities than a redneck on Fourth of July.
Finding something to maintain the free-range hysteria set by a maniac like Jared Waerea-Hargreaves is not easy. In fact, it’s the kinda thing usually found being taunted at a rodeo. But in Kane Evans, Dylan Napa and Siosiua Taukeiaho, the Roosters have a trio who sustain the bucking in spades. So watch out, clowns.
Labour-hire Cowboys and The Foreman
The Cowboys reserves of Ben Hannant, Scott Bolton and John ‘The Ass Man’ Asiata aren’t much on paper, and that’s their appeal. They’re honest, industrious and reliable, and the exact style of cool heads and elbow grease required when the cliches start cracking. More importantly though, they’re all in the same team as Johnathan Thurston.
Playing in the same football team as Thurston is beneficial for any substitute, mainly because he provides a significant boost in torque whenever he is applied to anything to do with a football team. He makes better players, better teams and most of all, better benches.
So in summary, Thurston.
Ben Barba is partially back, baby
Shane Flanagan’s Sharks play a style that’s as sexy as nose hair. They’re getting it done without pizzaz, razzamattaz or any other descriptors containing a Z.
On the bench though, they carry a Ben Barba in gradual rejuvenation, rugby league’s hot potato of the last two years. In the clinches of finals gridlock, could he be the cherry on the Flan’s plans?
Roarers, throw off the gown and stretch those hammies, because you’re on. Tell us who’s your pick of the benches in the NRL?
The NRL's match officials announcement on Tuesday lunchtime is usually cause for little fanfare, but sparked debate this week with top ref Ashley Klein…
It had all been going so well. Canberra were by far the better side for ten minutes, with Jamal Fogarty giving the Brisbane back…
Like most clubs, the Brisbane Broncos have had their fair share of big boppers over the years, many of them legends of the game.…
Who are the hardest working big men in the NRL?
My American mate wants a Canberra Raiders jersey. If someone had told me a couple of months ago that I’d have friends in the…
Derbies are often rated on intensity rather than quality, and that was very much to the fore at Suncorp for the third Battle of…
