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If the hacktivists who recently gave Ashley Madison a fearful touch-up ever extend their work into Steve Hansen’s Facebook account, what would his profile reveal?
I’d suggest something like: favourite food ‘white bread’, favourite beer ‘DB Draught’, favourite music ‘middle of the road’, favourite position ‘missionary’ – and so on.
Hansen’s final squad of 31, announced yesterday, is notable for its sheer predictability. There is a 17/14 split between forwards and backs. There are three hookers and three halfbacks, with sufficient utility players to cover other positions in some of the lesser pool games, or if things turn to custard through injury.
It is, by most accounts, non-controversial because the omissions are merely a reflection of the depth of talent at his disposal, not some left-field indulgence that breeds speculation about personal or provincial bias.
There are unlucky players, there always is. Nepo Laulala and Lima Sopoanga deputised superbly when offered opportunities this year but, like Ben Smith and Liam Messam in 2011, their time is coming. Israel Dagg is still a high quality player who is very unfortunate to be squeezed out.
On form, Charles Piutau will feel the hardest done by. From ‘man of the match’ in the cauldron of Ellis Park to out of the squad completely, is one almighty fall from grace. Conspiracy theorists will point to his pending shift to the UK as the reason, but the selection of Colin Slade suggests otherwise.
Instead, it is the compelling rise of Waisake Naholo which provides the only element of surprise. Certainly not on the basis of the hot 2015 form which saw him capped in the first place, but the inconvenient matter of his dragging around a broken leg for the last couple of months.
Naholo’s remarkable recovery confirms him as the new Steve Austin and has Hansen updating his profile.
Favourite medicine ‘kava’.
Allowing some fans a day or two to get over their own personal differences, Hansen will depart for the UK with a healthy bank of goodwill to support him, with a highly expectant New Zealand public overwhelmingly in tune and on-side with his program.
Such a situation does not evolve by accident, it is Hansen’s own deeds, via incumbency and a consistent winning record over the past few seasons, which provides a steady platform from which to springboard into the world cup itself.
In truth, had Hansen been required to select this team six months ago it would, barring injury, be almost identical to this side. Only Naholo and Nehe Milner-Skudder have forced their way in with 2015 performances and even then, may not have made the cut had Cory Jane’s season not been so hampered by injury.
One by-product is a hefty dollop of Test-match experience. Players like Dane Coles, Brodie Retallick Aaron Smith, Julian Savea and Ben Smith have an average age of 26, still seem relatively fresh to Test rugby on one hand, but on the other have an impressive 189 Test caps combined.
Critics will point to having to nurse New Zealand’s ageing cohort of Keven Mealamu, Tony Woodcock, Richie McCaw, Dan Carter, Ma’a Nonu and Conrad Smith as reason for doubt, but it’s the former group of players – plus Kieran Read – who are actually the key drivers of this team, and who will ultimately determine their success.
With that combined experience comes familiarity and while Hansen, like all coaches, has taken time this year to tweak combinations and line-ups to determine his best line-up, he can surely sleep sooner and more soundly than his contemporaries, knowing what his best team is. And with that team knowing each other.
By contrast the preceding squad announcements from some of New Zealand’s main rivals drew a more polarised response from local fans.
Sam Burgess’ inclusion for England provides priceless publicity for the tournament as the ‘deserving’ and ‘undeserving’ arguments fly back and forth. He’s worth the risk in the sense that the discarded Luther Burrell is not the player to win England the world cup, and his mid-field defence may prove useful when things tighten up at the business end of the tournament. On the other hand, there are doubts about what he can create with the ball.
James Horwill’s omission isn’t as juicy for the English tabloids to make a meal of, yet it still prompted much angst from Wallabies supporters. And whatever explanations were rolled out to justify the selection of only two hookers, the risk remains that a relatively minor 7 to 10 day injury early in the cup would be enough to see the captain ejected, without the ability to return in the elimination phase.
Meanwhile, in South Africa, coach Heyneke Meyer seems to have avoided widespread criticism for his side, despite it containing a debutant half-back who could have already been blooded but wasn’t, and the omission of Heinrich Broussow and Frans Steyn.
Perhaps the South African public is already conditioned (and resigned?) to Meyer’s ways? Or where anything seems remarkably logical by contrast to predecessor Pieter de Villiers.
Regardless, aside from feeling a little underwhelmed by the wingers, this does appear to be a very strong and experienced squad, one that should go deep into the tournament.
Where Hansen will require some innovation is in his management of the squad through the pool stage. While the so called ‘pool of death’ will see two of Australia, England, Wales and Fiji exit early, Hansen may well have preferred this scenario to the one he has.
What such a competitive pool allows is for sides to engage early with the tournament, to immediately switch into full battle mode, which in turn demands each challenge is attacked as it arises. It goes without saying that whoever emerges from this pool will be well tuned for the elimination phase.
New Zealand by contrast has an ideal opening opponent in Argentina, a side they know well but one they often have trouble putting away. Their 2011 quarter-final was for a large part, a very challenging and nervous affair for the All Blacks.
The banana skin however is the following couple of weeks, with matches against Namibia, Georgia and Tonga serving at best to keep the squad ticking over, and hopefully avoiding injury. Not an ideal scenario and one that Hansen and his support staff will have to be extra clever to negotiate.
Based on previous experience there are probably some innovations that won’t be adopted. For example naked, boot-camp swims in icy waters at 3.00am, a mid-tournament vacation at a beach resort in the south of France, or tossing around a few of the local dwarves for a bit of fun.
Win or lose, it will be fascinating in the aftermath of the tournament to hear more about how this phase was handled, both in the planning and the execution.
For now, New Zealand fans will turn their thoughts briefly to Dagg, Jane and Piutau in nodding appreciation of their abilities and service, and in sympathy for their plight. There will be a quick nod too for Cruden and Patrick Tuipolotu, certainties for the squad before injury struck.
But in the bigger scheme, New Zealand has made it to this point with little disruption. While there is a sense that this side is more vulnerable on a given day than it has been in recent years, I doubt that any true fan would swap their position for a fan from another country.
Steve Hansen knows more than anyone that his support will only last for as long as his side keeps winning. But for now at least, he moves forward with the blessing of his countrymen.