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During the 1977 Ashes series, which introduced Kerry Packer hijacking world cricket, there was an incident at Nottingham.
It was after tea, and I threw a cigarette packet to Adelaide Advertiser cricket writer Alan Shiel, from the bottom right of the oblong Trent Bridge press box to the top left.
Way off line at 45 degrees was the doyen of English radio commentators John Arlott, peacefully typing his wine column for The Guardian.
>> Wayne Bennett agrees to coach English rugby league side
The packet took a massive in-dipper and landed flush on Arlott’s right cheek.
You could have heard a pin drop – “The man has been hit.”
It seemed like an eternity, but it was probably 30 or 40 seconds. Arlott’s fingers never left the keyboard as he said in his high-quality English voice, “That had to be a f***ing colonial.”
Then, and even now, Australians are still thought of as being “f***ing colonials” by many English sporting fans.
That incident was nearly 40 years ago, and right now f***ing colonials have taken over three of England’s top four team sports – Trevor Bayliss is coaching the cricket, Eddie Jones the rugby, and Wayne Bennett the rugby league.
Bayliss made an immediate impact last year by coaching England to a comfortable 3-1 Ashes success, then lost 2-0 to Pakistan in the Emirates – very hard to win there – but bounced back with a tremendous 2-1 win over South Africa in South Africa.
Next up is an ODI and T20 series against South Africa, leading into the T20 World Cup in India. Don’t discount England.
Jones’ new job kicks off this weekend when England take on Scotland at Murrayfield to open the 2016 Six Nations tournament.
Then it’s Italy at the Stadio Olimpica, Ireland and Wales at Twickenham, finishing with France at Stade de France.
Jones won the poison chalice job having coached the Brumbies to a Super Rugby title in 2001, and the Wallabies to Bledisloe success in 2001 and 2002, Tri-Nations success in 2001, and to the 2003 Rugby World Cup final, losing 20-17 to England in extra time.
Last year Jones coached Japan to their biggest international win in history, scoring on the final hooter to beat the Springboks 34-32 in the Rugby World Cup.
Now the ageless Bennett, officially 66, signed for two years to coach England for the Four Nations tournament, and at next year’s World Cup.
England has never won the Four Nations.
In 2009, Australia beat England 46-16 in the final.
In 2010, New Zealand beat Australia 16-12.
In 2011, Australia beat England 30-8.
And in 2014, New Zealand beat Australia 22-18.
The combatants this year will be Australia, New Zealand, England and Scotland. The Scots qualified by winning the European Cup on points differential, officially finishing on equal points to France and Ireland.
It’s still hard to believe England administrators have reached such desperation levels as to happily appoint colonials to get out of the mire.
One thing’s for sure, England will be far harder to beat in cricket, rugby, and rugby league with Aussies at the helm.