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Rather than hang around and play the T20 series against India, most of Australia’s players had wandered off in dribs and drabs to New Zealand to acclimatise to Kiwi hotel conditions in preparation for the one day series against the Black Caps.
And it’s a darn good thing they did, or else they might have lost by more than 159 runs in this first match.
Here are the ratings from the first ODI.
More cricket:
» Scorecard: New Zealand vs Australia first ODI
» Selectors should not be commentators
» New Zealand vs Australia highlights: Kiwis dominate hapless Aussie batting line up
» Slow and spinning will win the race at World T20
» World Twenty20: Sixth verse, same as the first
Bowling to Brendon McCullum
Grade: D
Steve Smith won the toss and sent New Zealand in to bat, a decision that caused Brendon McCullum to childishly respond that he would have chosen to bat anyway, so there.
This was the first one day international the teams had played against one another since the World Cup Final eleven months earlier and McCullum started here as he ended there, by trying to flay every single ball that was bowled to him to or over the boundary.
But this time Australia were Starc-less. And with their spare Starc more interested in high jumping than bowling to the New Zealand captain, it was left to the other bowlers to do so.
Josh Hazlewood was pummelled for twenty off the last four balls of his second over, via a pair of sixes and a pair of fours. He soon put a stop to McCullum bludgeoning him for sixes in his next over, however, using the key tactic of bowling all six balls to Martin Guptill. But when he carelessly resumed bowling to McCullum, he, like every other bowler foolish enough to fall into this trap, was punished.
It wasn’t until James Faulkner was brought onto bowl that McCullum’s wicket finally fell, bowled for 44 from 29 balls. Faulkner, of course, is the kind of bowler who is often described as ‘there or thereabouts’, which has always been my favourite kind of bowling.
With McCullum totally Faulked, Kane Williamson came and went for a duck, presumably just to avoid any confusion with Kane Richardson.
These New Zealanders. Always so nice.
Poor sportsmanship
Grade: F
With McCullum and Williamson out, Guptill provided the backbone of the New Zealand innings, scoring 90 runs off just 76 balls until he was shamefully run out by Glenn Maxwell.
Guptill, at the non-striker’s end, headed off for a single but was sent back. Too late, however, as Maxwell swooped in and flung down the stumps.
Much like the recent Mankad in the Under 19 Cricket World Cup, this was a contemptible way to take a wicket. This ‘win at all costs’ mentality needs to be stamped out of cricket as quickly as possible.
Sure, Guptill had backed up out of his crease. But he’d also turned back. He was no longer looking for an advantage by being out of his ground. And yet Maxwell ran him out without even a warning.
Disgraceful.
Benjamin Button
Grade: B-
Perhaps disheartened by Australia’s crass violation of the Spirit of Cricket, the New Zealand innings began to go full Benjamin Button, with the run rate decelerating in later overs rather than the more usual acceleration.
Before the Guptill dismissal, a score of 350 or more looked possible. With Luke Ronchi – easily Australia’s best for the match with both bat and in the field – struggling to get going, New Zealand only managed to just scrape past 300, thanks mostly to some endearing Shaun Marsh misfields while patrolling the boundary.
Would 307 be enough?
Uh, yeah. It totally would.
Old Man Border
Grade: A
“Geoff Marsh had absolutely no idea!” exclaimed commentator Allan Border during one of Shaun Marsh’s outfield misjudgements. At first, you might think that this was yet another example of how beloved Shaun Marsh is, that Border would rather blame his father for any fielding mishap than him.
But no, it turns out that AB is just old now. He forgets the names of people. He revealed later in commentary that he didn’t know how to answer his phone. He probably tries to search for things on Google by typing his query into a Facebook status update box.
Still, I like Old Man AB. I think he’s my favourite version of Allan Border. Anybody who still talks about the ‘cardinal sin’ of one day cricket as not batting out the full fifty overs is OK by me.
Darren Lehmann’s legs
Grade: B-
But Australia didn’t listen to Old Man AB. They collapsed to 6-41 in the face of strong opening bowling from Trent Boult and Matt Henry. Clever work from the top order to avoid being shown up against spin yet again.
And also, a foolish error from New Zealand, whose early wickets brought The Finisher, Faulkner, to the crease with 41 overs left to wield his finishing magic.
Alas, the magic was sub-Channel Nine mentalist in standard this time, and when Faulkner himself was finished, bowled for 36 off 33 balls, the innings effectively was too, with the Australians ending all out for 148.
It was also their fifth consecutive defeat since coach Darren Lehmann was diagnosed with DVT. Which, apparently, stands for ‘Defeat-Victory Transfer’.
Still, what do you expect when Shane Watson’s no longer our captain.