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The Big Day Not Out

Roar Guru
4th February, 2016
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There’s something about cracking a beer at 9:30am. Even more so when you’re standing on the sidelines of the Alfred Crescent Oval in Edinburgh Gardens. Dressed in beige.

Welcome to the Big Day Not Out.

Running since 2001, the day is the centerpiece of the Yarra Pub Cricket Association, and easily one of the more prestigious cricketing titles one can lay claim to.

16 pubs fighting it out to snare the ultimate honour – hosting all the remaining players from the crestfallen, defeated pubs at their establishment.

The bigwigs at the ICC may think they’ve revolutionized cricket with the rise of T20, but – as Daryl Kerrigan would say – tell ‘em they’re dreaming.

You haven’t felt pressure until you’ve overcome a series of cut-throat 10-over elimination matches (and some late-afternoon beer-induced lethargy) to hoist the trophy in the grandstand of the Brunswick Street Oval.

10:40am. A leisurely-paced half-tracker sits up and is duly deposited over the fence. The relief in those winning runs being written up in blue texta on the portable whiteboard – I mean official scoreboard – is immense. There’s nothing like a loss in the first round to ruin a perfectly resplendent afternoon of sport.

Before going any further, a quick re-cap of the rules is required for the uninitiated: 10 overs per side. One over per bowler (choose your bowling order wisely). Batsmen retire the ball they reach or pass 20 (the much sought after perfect four-ball knock is the ultimate goal).

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To eliminate DRS controversy, LBWs are done away with entirely. The benefit of this comes into play when the umpire has downed six cans and might not be entirely sure whether the ball pitched in line with one of the two off-stumps he’s seeing.

In lieu of criticism of the increasingly strict wide laws in international cricket, bowlers are punished not by a run-penalty, but by physical exertion. Wides are simply rebowled without an extra being recorded.

Keeping in line with the gentlemanly history of cricket, bouncers are deemed ‘dangerous’ and a three-run penalty is enforced. The can-in-hand rule is encouraged.

Back the beige though. The kit of the mighty Dan O’Connell Cricket Club, the garb encapsulates one of the oldest and highest traditions of cricket – one must dress like a gentleman.

Black above the knee dress shorts, buttoned beige shirt, black bow-ties (or beige tie), long black socks, beige jacket (optional but encouraged), and the baggy black’n’beige.

Some veer too far to the right and end up in 70’s-esque brown territory, and others stray too far down the spectrum and rock out the almost-white. Of course, being a side that embraces rather than discriminates, the entire beige rainbow is accepted.

1:40pm. A scampered single sees a solid target of 91 chased down in the ninth over.

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Alfred Crescent is much like Eden Park. The boundaries are remarkably close – but can be the undoing of many who try to over-hit the ball. Simply timing the ball off the top edge will suffice for most boundaries.

Overs are bowled from one end only – right-handers are much safer hitting into the park (I believe bonus points are awarded for hitting a hipster on a fixie). We left-handers have to place our sixes in between the cars parked on the nearby road and the grass patch in the middle of the road to avoid shooting a ball into a front door.

Pub cricket is a joyous thing. It celebrates playing cricket for all the right reasons.
Throughout the season games are played for no points. There are no ladders (the answer to spot-fixing perhaps?). It’s even played on a Sunday – a day of ‘rest(ing) in the outfield’.

If you win you simply return to the pub who emerged victorious for a post-match chat. A BBQ lunch – with requisite hero dish – means that whoever fields second is quite sluggish in the field.

The DOCCC embraces both those who experience glorious success and horrible failure.

Drop a sitter at deep anywhere (the rarely-seen no slips, no gullies, seven-fielders-on-the-leg-side, only midwicket in the circle field is popular)? Please wear the Helmet of Shame – a relic from the 1970s, a highly uncomfortable motorbike helmet which takes on a rather ‘juicy’ feel when you are the fourth person to don the lid on a 34-degree day.

Atone for your mistake and claim a wicket in your over? Add the Jumper of Triumph to your wardrobe – a heavy, knitted jumper that would keep you toasty in the Arctic, let alone while protecting the long-on fence.

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Last year in my first Big Day Not Out the DOCCC took out the day with a stirring last-over victory over The Park. Having faced a total of zero deliveries for the day, Will Creed belted his first ball for six over midwicket with just two balls to spare, to trigger some of the greatest field-storming celebrations seen in cricket.

This year the mighty beige lost in the semi-finals. A target of 129 proved too great – although an asking rate of 12.9 an over does tend to be slightly hard to achieve.

After the game we caught wind that the opposition may have had – shock horror – up to six or seven players who – gasp – still played club cricket on a Saturday.

The very nerve of it all… but not to worry. Next game’s February 14th. The beige will again be out in force.

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