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The recent fallout from Bondi resembled a mushroom cloud. It was so big, it almost blocked out the colossal frame of Pauli Pauli thundering up the M1 towards Newcastle.
So with the dust somewhat settled, what were the Eels thinking?
Long-term deals to Anthony Watmough and Beau Scott set the scene. Recruited to guide Parramatta’s future enforcers, disbelieving looks must have been traded when their most menacing prospect disappeared six weeks before Round 1.
Having served a two-year 33-game apprenticeship, the hard work was done. The 120-kilogram monster was one Eels junior destined to repay Brad Arthur’s faith.
Unfortunately someone had to make way for Michael Jennings’ and it was the 21-year-old who drew the shortest straw.
Salary cap incompetency is one thing, identifying the club’s best playing talent another.
There’s no doubt Arthur once held grand visions for Pauli. Perhaps wiser voices shared the hidden complexities plaguing other gifted wrecking-balls like Tony ‘T-Rex’ Williams.
Torn between structured conservatism and the challenge of compromising it with one man’s power and creative urge, the Eels coach voted low risk.
And who’s to argue? After the Chris Sandow debacle and Kieran Foran’s signing it’s clear the Eels are heading back to basics.
Heavyweight playmakers like Williams and Dave ‘Coal Train’ Taylor can be just as enigmatic as they are spectacular – nightmares if coaching by the book.
Gorden Tallis once labelled Taylor a five-eighth in a prop’s body and like many criticised his preference for cutting corners in defence.
Similar stories still follow T-Rex. Andrew Johns in commentary one afternoon doubted if the back-rower fully understood the enormity of his own physique and recommended a full-length mirror to spark more intent.
No one has ridden more rollercoasters with the game’s biggest all-rounders than Des Hasler. He transformed Williams from the wing to boom international forward before the cracks started appearing at Canterbury.
Now playing second fiddle to James Graham and Sam Kasiano, T-Rex has become the poster boy for repeated decoy runs and sluggish hit-ups.
But even with the fun-play switched off, it’s a lackadaisical ability to bend the line that often spares the Williams brigade from wearing the axe.
T-Rex averaged 97 metres per game last year without seemingly raising a sweat. Respectable enough returns, but fans argue it’s a benchmark that should come at half the price.
And therein lies part of the problem, an oversupply of sameness ending in selection-heartbreak or misery for the out of favour in a foreign position.
Shane Flanagan’s diverse mix of Sharks allows the raw power and one-handed subtleness of Andrew Fifita to run its natural course.
Fifita’s Bulldogs deal is the best thing that never happened in 2014 and shows a balanced pack unleashes the irresistible wrecking-ball on a regular basis.
It took perennial off-loader Adam Cuthbertson four NRL clubs and nine years before the Rhinos welcomed his best down main street Headingley.
Ali Lauitiiti was another imposing figure lured by the greener pastures of England after wowing NRL fans for five seasons with an array of slam-dunks and overhead passes.
But Pauli won’t be bothering about the colour of England’s grass. He’ll be sniffing about the bottom of Nathan Brown’s St Helen’s kit bag for a new trick or two to break Brad Arthur’s heart.
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