Following Manly’s second loss in as many matches, several powerbrokers among the Sea Eagles’ upper echelons of management have been getting a little antsy.
There is regret emerging in their decision to show Geoff Toovey the door and inducting green-behind-the-ears coach Trent Barrett.
Things reached a head at Manly today when two members of the board of directors, Rick Penn and Peter Peters, left a message on Toovey’s answering machine.
Here, brought to you exclusively via The Roar, is that message.
Penn: G’day mate, it’s Rick Penn here…
Peters: Hi Geoff!
Penn: …and Peter Peters too, we’re just calling to, I don’t know, see how you’re doing.
Peters: We’ve been thinking about you a lot lately mate.
Penn: We regret how things ended last year, it was so ugly.
Peters: We were so inconsiderate and selfish. We were simply horrible to you mate. We see that now.
Penn: Let’s not beat around the bush: we want you back mate. Now I know you’re back as an accountant, and we know you’re happy doing that.
Peters: Who wouldn’t be?
Penn: But Barrett is about as sharp as a door knob. He couldn’t coach a thirsty horse to water. It would be hilarious to watch if it was any other club but ours.
Peters: But it is our club Tooves. We need to drop the zero and get you back mate. You’re our hero.
Penn: We should have never let you go.
Peters: Rick and I are planning a coup in the board room. If we’re successful we’ll be paving the road to fire Barrett and bring you back as coach with a massive pay increase. Whatever you want mate, it’s yours.
Penn: If we’re not successful in this boardroom move though, well, would you be interested in coming on as an accountant?
Peters: We need someone who’s good with numbers to work a bit of magic with the books. We’re getting a bit nervous that the NRL will look at our cap soon.
Penn: If they do we’re screwed!
Peters: Thankfully they’re too busy dealing with the Eels.
Penn: We’ve blown next year’s cap on Daly Cherry-Evans and Dylan Walker alone. So if you could come on as an accountant and, oh, I don’t know, move a decimal point or remove a zero or two from Cherry’s salary, that’d be tops.
Peters: Get back to us soon mate.
Penn: Byeeeee.
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