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Friday Funnies: Bloopers aplenty in Olympics countdown

Glenn Maxwell has a different path to the Test side than Matt Hayden ever did. (AP Photo/Jon Super)
Roar Guru
28th April, 2016
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It’s been all about the countdown this week as we notched up 100 days to the Olympics on Wednesday.

Michelle Obama celebrated by getting in some fencing practice with the US team, which looked more like an audition for the next Star Wars movie. The force is strong in this one.

The Independent newspaper marked the milestone with an ‘everything you need to know’ special about the Games, including a section titled ‘When does everything begin?’ Der. In 100 days, you muppets.

Proctor & Gamble released an ad with more sugar than a fellow Olympic sponsor’s signature soft drink.

British Cycling racked up the ‘100 days to go’ mark by dismissing coach Shane Sutton after claims of sexism and discrimination levelled at him by former and current cyclists.

And yet another project may fail to be completed in time. This time it’s the new Donald Trump-branded hotel that’s supposed to host seven international sports federations. Oh, the irony.

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“That is the one we fear,” said Rio 2016’s director of sport Agberto Guimaraes, though whether he was referring to the hotel or the notion of a Trump presidency is unclear.

Despite the hiccups, everyone’s very excited, none more so than Aussie chef de mission Kitty Chiller — surely a name any Bond girl would kill for.

Ms Chiller is targeting a top five finish for Team Australia. No surprises there. It’s what we say before every Games, in the same way Ooh-Ah Glen McGrath tips a 5-nil Aussie whitewash in any cricket series. Frankly, we don’t care where we come. As long as we beat the Brits.

One contest we’re doing very well in is doping, where we finished equal seventh with China on the World Anti-Doping Agency’s list of top drug offenders in 2014.

With 49 violations, we were a long way short of Russia, which set a benchmark 148 breaches but you have to admit it’s a positive result.

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Amid all this talk of drugs, the Canadian Olympic Committee launched its Rio 2016 brand campaign, complete with the slogan ‘Ice in our Veins’. Will you tell them or shall I?

In baseball, Chicago Cubs pitcher Jake Arrieta is having such a cracking season that other players have been asking whether he’s on performance enhancing drugs. Is he outraged? Not really.

“It’s somewhat flattering,” he says, “especially when some of those comments are coming from some of the best players in the game.”

While Steve Smith and Glenn Maxwell are often credited with innovating new cricket shots, in softball it’s been left to US schoolgirl Sarah Rowles to come up with a new exciting way to play the humble bunt. As you can hear, it’s a hit with the crowd.

Another schoolgirl making the news this week was LeeAdianez Rodriguez, who turned up 15 minutes early for a five-kilometre run and ended up accidentally running her first ever half marathon instead.

Meanwhile, here’s Serena Williams bopping in Beyonce’s latest music video while Queen B trills: ‘Middle fingers up’.

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And was there a more uplifting sight in sport this week than that of families singing outside court after an inquest found the 96 people who died in the 1989 Hillsborough disaster were unlawfully killed?

For years, they’ve had to put up with claims by police and some elements of the media that their loved ones were responsible for the human crush in which they died.

On Tuesday, after 27 years of fighting, they finally got justice. And spontaneously broke into the Liverpool team song.

Have a good weekend, everyone. May you never walk alone.

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