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Why Bernie is right not to return serve

12th May, 2016
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Bernard Tomic is struggling – what would you do in his shoes? (Photo: AFP)
Expert
12th May, 2016
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All right, if no one else has the guts to say it, I will. I agree with Bernard Tomic.

Not on everything, of course: I don’t hate all other Australian tennis players and I personally would not have got that haircut, but on the subject which has recently brought Bernie into the spotlight, I am right with him.

When asked about the incident where he didn’t bother trying to hit a ball on match point of a match in Madrid, Tomic said, “I don’t care about that match point. Would you care if you were 23 and worth over $10 million?”

Say what you like, but I can see where he’s coming from. If I were 23 and worth over $10 million, I would not care about that match point. If I were 23 and worth over $10 million, I wouldn’t even have showed up to the tournament. It seems a really dull way to spend your time in Madrid, which is a beautiful city with many spectacular landmarks and a rich history which the curious visitor can have great fun exploring if they are not wasting their time playing tennis.

I mean, I’m not 23 and worth over $10 million, and I still don’t care about that match point. Granted, I wasn’t playing in the match, which is also a factor, but would I have cared about it if I had been? It’s debatable. I mean I don’t care about many things as it is. I could name 60 to 70 different things that I don’t care about almost every day, and to be honest if I were 23 and worth over $10 million I think I might care about them even less.

The advantages of being 23 and worth over $10 million are obvious.

You are a very long way away from dying of an age-related condition, particularly in comparison to people who are older.

You have, relatively speaking, extremely firm buttocks.

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You can shop at Myer instead of Target.

Lots of people will have sex with you with only the most cursory examination of your personality.

If you had these four factors intersecting in your life, and someone whacked a tennis ball at you, would you bother to whack it back, or would you see the bigger picture? Perspective is a wonderful thing and Bernard Tomic should not be pilloried just because he had some.

Think for a moment if Tomic had said, “I don’t care about that match point. Would you care if you were preoccupied with the plight of dispossessed peoples throughout the world not to mention the deforestation of the Amazon?” He would’ve been hailed as a hero, as a man who had finally recognised the sporting world for the shallow farce that it truly is.

Yet just because he is preoccupied with his own wealth and supple young body rather than the rapacious exploitation of this planet and its most vulnerable inhabitants, he is a pariah. Fair? No.

If you can honestly say that, with a birth certificate reading 1993 and $10 million in the bank, you’d give a flying testicle about a match point in Madrid, then you’re a better man than I. Or to put it another way, you’re a worse man than I, because dude, come on, get a grip, it’s just a bloody game.

In fact, I say we need to reassess our whole attitude to sport. We constantly laud and revere those who care deeply about their chosen sport, those who commit themselves heart and soul, who sacrifice all for excellence, who strive for victory with every nerve and sinew in their body. We worship powerful emotional investment in our sportspeople.

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I think it’s time to change that.

I think we should be celebrating those who take the Tomic approach. Let’s stand and cheer for all those sportsmen and women who say, hey, it’s just sport, I’m young and rich, why should I bother? Let’s appreciate this refreshingly broad-minded way of looking at the world for once.

For it is they who are the real heroes. For every world champion out there, there is a lazy kid who took a look at the requirements for becoming a champion and said look, I’ve got better things to do, quite frankly. For every beloved national hero who left it all out there on the field of battle, there is a laidback youth who saw how pointless and stupid that is and went shopping instead. And that’s not only a valid choice: it’s a sensible one.

So let’s all take a moment to salute those who make that choice, to say “thank you” to the sporting heroes who just don’t find sport all that interesting. All power to your listless arms.

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