Not many rugby league players have the ability to play any position. The closest you’ll find in the modern game are guys like Jack Bird or Corey Oates, who can shift between both forward and back positions.
Even some of the game’s most versatile players like Ellery Hanley probably couldn’t fill every position.
So today I thought I’d get the safety goggles out, don my lab coat and create the greatest all-round NRL player of all time!
*insert mad scientist laugh*
Disclaimer: All players featured in this article will be current NRL players, to simplify the whole process, and so it can also be enjoyed by casual league fans.
Speed: James Roberts
Honourable Mentions: Josh Addo-Carr, Bevan French, Marika Koroibete, Michael Morgan, Shaun Johnson.
There’s not much argument against ‘Jimmy the Jet’ being the quickest man in the NRL. While speedsters like Josh Addo-Carr and Bevan French may be breathing down his neck, I don’t think they’re quite as fast as the Broncos right centre.
Blinding acceleration and lightning speed is what any good outside back should have, and Roberts has it in truck loads.
Ingredient number one, the speed of James Roberts.
Power: Jason Taumalolo
Honourable Mentions: Martin Taupau, Joseph Leilua, Andrew Fifita, David Klemmer, Konrad Hurrell.
If I had to choose one player in the competition I wouldn’t want running at me, I wouldn’t have time to blink before saying Cowboys enforcer Jason Taumalolo.
He combines nice footwork with pure strength and determination to eat his way through teams. Close to the line he is almost impossible to stop. Taumalolo is one of the most damaging ball runners in the NRL.
Ingredient number two, the power of Jason Taumalolo.
Evasiveness: James Tedesco
Honourable Mentions: Jordan Rapana, Joseph Leilua, David Nofoaluma, Josh Mansour, Anthony Milford.
The Wests Tigers fullback has finished his last two seasons in the NRL with over 100 tackles busts. His running style and agility makes him one of the hardest players to tackle in the NRL.
Tedesco’s uncanny ability to run at the defensive line and break out of tackles or go straight through, makes him one of the most dangerous players in the competition.
Ingredient number three, the evasiveness of James Tedesco.
Passing: Johnathan Thurston
Honourable Mentions: Cooper Cronk, Ben Hunt, Mitchell Moses, Daly Cherry-Evans, Matthew Moylan, Adam Reynolds.
He was going to be on this list somewhere, and the best player in the world at the moment is thrown into the pot for his stellar passing ability.
You don’t win four Dally M player of the year awards in a playmaking position if you don’t have a good passing game. JT makes it look easy as he picks out teammate s with jaw dropping accuracy.
Ingredient number four, the passing of Johnathan Thurston.
Kicking: Adam Reynolds
Honourable Mentions: Johnathan Thurston, Cooper Cronk, Shaun Johnson, Mitchell Pearce, James Maloney.
Adam Reynolds has the best kicking game of any modern day NRL player. On his day he can win his team a game with his right foot alone.
Reynolds’ kicking game can not only be utilised in general play, but from the tee as well. In 2013, Reynolds kicked a career best 90.09 per cent of his goals, one of only three modern day players to kick at over 90 per cent in a season.
Ingredient number five, the kicking of Adam Reynolds.
Offload: Corey Parker
Honourable Mentions: Bryce Cartwright, Sam Burgess, Joseph Leilua, Trent Merrin, Andrew Fifita.
Corey Parker is perhaps the master of second phase play, there never seems to be a set of six that doesn’t include a Parker offload.
He has a great way of being able to hit the line, make metres, then deliver the ball out the back all in one motion.
Ingredient number six, the offload of Corey Parker.
Defence: Jack De Belin
Honourable Mentions: Jake Trbojevic, Simon Mannering, Cameron Smith, James Graham, Ryan James.
You may have raised an eyebrow at the selection of JDB for the defensive qualities of this ‘ultimate player,’ but after a gruelling 30 seconds of looking through stats, I deducted that he is the best man for the job.
De Belin missed only 20 tackles in 2016, while racking up an impressive 916 tackles. That’s a success rate of 98 per cent, the best of anyone in that honourable mentions list.
Ingredient number seven, the defence of Jack De Belin
All these ingredients were put into a big pot. Water was added and it was left to boil for the next few hours.
Anticipation built as a figure emerged from the cauldron, and big man, with biceps the width of houses. A light shone from the heavens to unveil the face of the god like presence standing before me.
And that kids, is how I made ‘Gorgeous’ George Rose.
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