The Spudlow Medal – not to be confused with the Brownlow Medal – is awarded to the worst player in the Australian Football League during the home and away season.
Despite popular belief, the Spudlow is not named after Danny Frawley, but the potato in general and how the term, in an Australian context, is used to describe someone who is beyond mediocre at their attempted profession.
CHECK OUT THE FULL PREDICTOR FOR THE 2016 SPUDLOW MEDAL BELOW.
Unlike the Brownlow, the Spudlow is not decided by the umpires, but through a mix of statistical analysis and a specialised social media filter which picks out player’s names that are often associated with words like ‘flog’, ‘peanut’, ‘horrendous’, and even phrases such as ‘why’s this bloke even on the field?’
Sure, we all remember Dangerfield’s forty-whatever touches and however-many goals… against… who was it? But those performances pale in comparison to the joy we all felt sitting next to that one mate who barracks for Collingwood while watching Travis Cloke spray his way to 17 goals for the season. These are the moments we remember and cherish.
So while the AFL’s best are busy sipping champagne and giving their missus her time in the spotlight, let’s not forget about the league’s spuds. Tonight, on footy’s night of nights, they’ll be sitting back, jamming tins (with the boys), and absentmindedly contemplating how they’d word their application for the next season of The Recruit should the dishonour of a Spudlow Medal fall their way.
The blokes we’re talking about are the ones who lead the stats in areas such as clangers, free kicks conceded, worst kicking efficiency, most behinds, and fewest kilometres run in a season.
Their clear disregard for fundamental skills may leave them deserving of zero recognition or celebration, but we must never forget that for every fan these blokes left pulling their hair out, they left ten of us spilling our beers with laughter.
(Unfortunately, despite our tireless campaigning, Champion Data are yet to begin counting ‘laughable’ moments – but rest assured every single battler in contention for the Spudlow tonight is elite in the category.)
So in the lead-up to the big night, we’ve scrolled to the bottom of stats tables across the internet and crunched the few stats these blokes actually registered to determine who’s in contention for the 2016 Spudlow.
The full predictor:
And, of course, please let us know who you think deserves the Spudlow for 2016 in the comments below.
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