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The Wrap: It’s been a tough week for…

Drew Mitchell had a rough week. (AFP PHOTO / FIONA GOODALL)
Expert
25th September, 2016
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It’s been a tough week for… Andy Marinos. The SANZAAR chief executive has been in Australia, seemingly a lone voice extolling the virtues of Super Rugby to a constituency that, for the most part, isn’t lending a kind ear.

Right or wrong, SANZAAR is playing a long game, undoubtedly with the best interests of Southern hemisphere rugby at its core. But rugby fans are more concerned about how issues at the coal-face impact on their enjoyment of rugby right now; an unwieldy, complex conference system, an unfair finals system, travel demands and political interference.

It’s an acute problem; SANZAAR will feel that they can’t afford to blink, lest they effectively render Southern hemisphere rugby irrelevant or subservient to the north. But at the same time, they can’t afford to continue to disenfranchise rugby fans, fuelled by increasing numbers of commentators calling for drastic changes to Super Rugby, each one offering up their own alternative plan.

It’s been a tough week for… Drew Mitchell. Hot on the heels of being sent back to Toulon by Michael Cheika to condition himself better for Test rugby, the internet lit up with reports of girlfriend Delta Goodrem’s steamy new video, complete with heated kisses in a seedy motel, with a fetching male model.

“It was a great day at work”, Goodrem said. “Nobody was complaining.” A little something for Mitchell to ponder over perhaps, deciding between the beef or the chicken?

It’s been a tough week for… Charlie Ngatai, everybody’s original favourite to cement Ma’a Nonu’s vacant inside centre position with the All Blacks. Ngatai this week succumbed to the continued effects of concussions suffered earlier this season, and will not be considered for selection for the All Blacks’ end of year tour.

His medium-term prognosis is good; here’s hoping that he returns to Super Rugby in 2017, fit and healthy.

It’s been a tough week for… movie fans and romantics, forced to take sides in the increasingly ugly Brad versus Angelina stoush.

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In one corner, the movie business’ David Pocock, leading the charge on any number of social issues while simultaneously trying to raise six children. On the other, a misunderstood man dealing with all of the pressures that sexy, leading men share; batting off amorous female co-stars, only to find, each time he arrives home for dinner, yet another new kid at the table, rescued from an impoverished life in some far-flung corner of the globe.

It’s been a tough week for… the All Blacks, named and shamed on Fox Sport’s Rugby 360 show, as lacking in humility. And here we were thinking that Steve Hansen, Keiran Read and co, were happily cruising along on a 15-win stretch, with the Rugby Championships sorted well before time, having played some pretty nice rugby along the way.

That is until Marto and Kafe got fired up, reminding viewers that ‘the darkness’ are indeed the dark knights of rugby.

Actually, the notion that a stoic personality like Hanson is going to be put off his oats by such denigration is fanciful, and it’s not a difficult task to call this nonsense out for what it really is.

One of the things that makes Usain Bolt such a great champion is that there is no false modesty; no “the boys gave me a really close race out there and I was very lucky to win.” Instead, Bolt cruises along, seemingly at around 80 per cent effort, posing for the cameras along the way, on a different plane to everyone else.

He knows it, we all know it; it’s all part of the theatre of the undisputed world champion.

Post-race, Bolt is unfailingly pleasant and engaging with media and fans; it is his superior performance that is arrogant, not his demeanour, which is the nub of Martin, Kafer and Phil Kearns’ argument. They do not deny the All Blacks their record; how could they? It is aspects of their behaviour that they criticize.

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Upon closer inspection however, their argument is exposed as being as flimsy as Oscar Pistorius’ bathroom door. Their case would never make it within cooee of a courtroom; indeed it would be easier to prosecute the Wiggles for hiding satanic hate messages in the verses of “Little Red Car.”

Exhibit A is Dane Coles, charged with not acknowledging the Lions immediately after the Super rugby final. Setting aside the fact that Coles is an All Black but was not representing the All Blacks at the time, this criticism totally ignores context.

What actually occurred is that Coles was not handed the microphone to make a victory speech, rather he was interviewed by TV host and MC, Jeff Wilson. Wilson asked him two questions, both specifically about his own side, which he answered directly before Wilson moved on. Almost certainly, Coles and other Hurricanes paid the Lions due compliment in the rooms following the match, and nothing from their camp in the wake of the match suggests that they were in any way slighted by their hosts.

None of which suits the “arrogant All Blacks” narrative. Far easier to ignore the facts and have a whinge instead.

Richie McCaw is villain number two, having always irked some Australians for being reluctant to acknowledge them over his career. Even if that was true, he has been retired now for some ten months, and the All Blacks caravan has well and truly moved on without him.

There have been eras in All Blacks history where the personality traits in ascendance at the time were questionable. The 1972-73 tour to the UK for example, was infamously marked by a team culture which reinforced a ‘back of the bus’ hierarchy, where senior players led the team mafia and newbies were subject to what, by todays standards, would amount to bullying.

But to observe these All Blacks at close quarters; the infectious jesting of halfbacks Aaron Smith and TJ Perenara, the modest sensibility of Ben Smith and Charlie Faumuina, and the ‘gentle giant’ humility of Jerome Kaino and Brodie Retallick, makes it impossible to reconcile their accuser’s argument.

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Thankfully, the All Blacks are answerable only to their own standards, not those set for them by a bunch of commentators who, if the spotlight is turned back onto them, are shown to be leading an exercise in buffoonery.

Fox Sports’ rugby coverage is a mix of good and bad; a panel of analysts, John Eales, George Gregan and Tim Horan, led by Nick McCardle, which is almost always accurate, fair and insightful. One is left in no doubt that senior match caller Greg Clark supports Australia, but this never poisons his call; again, he is accurate and adds to the viewer experience.

It is the comments or ‘colour’ position where things head south. In last weekend’s Perth Test, Kearns used the term “if we had done that, the ref would have given a penalty”, “we” meaning the Wallabies. This is cheerleading juxtaposed with whinging. It is certainly not professional commentary.

Rod Kafer has a sharp rugby brain and has a wide-ranging background, which includes playing, coaching and analysis at the highest level. For him to park his bus alongside Martin and Kearns is disappointing, and only proves the adage, ‘if you lay down with dogs you get fleas.’

Another target is coach Hansen for “ignoring” the Owen Franks-Kane Douglas “eye gouging” incident in the recent Wellington Test. The possibility that Hansen ignored it because the citing commissioner and Douglas also ignored it is not even considered.

If Kafe and Marto are frustrated and hurt by comments made by Graham Henry they would be better advised to direct their response directly to Henry, just as The Roar’s Spiro Zavos did last week.

Henry’s comments, when considered in proper context, don’t justify a personal attack in return, but Henry has been around the traps long enough to defend himself and back his own position.

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But to try to extrapolate a comment made by an individual no longer involved with the All Blacks’ program, into evidence that the All Blacks lack humility and are “losing their way” simply beggars belief.

It is like the New Zealand media having a crack at Michael Cheika or Stephen Moore for something Bob Dwyer or David Campese says. Nutsville.

It’s been a tough week for… Toutai Kefu, now the only coach without a win in the NRC; his Queensland Country side pipped by the Western Sydney Rams, 46-50, after being ahead by 46-36 with less than one minute to play!

I doubt there’s ever been a more bizarre finish to a game of rugby, the Rams scoring at the death to get back to within a try, with time left only for the kick-off. Needing another try, the Rams took an incredible eight minutes to do it, referee Amy Perrett finally losing patience with the Queenslanders, awarding a penalty try for persistent offside at a 5m scrum.

Country did actually secure possession in those final few minutes, but centre Duncan Paia’aua, who otherwise had a great game, panicked and threw the ball out, when any other play would have won the match.

The quality of rugby was noticeably higher in the early game, marked by a day to remember for NSW Country halfback Jake Gordon, scoring three tries himself, before putting Kyle Godwin in with a superb reverse flick-pass.

Sunday’s action saw the Horan-Little Shield transfer to Melbourne; fair enough given that the UC Vikings took too long to devise strategies other than the line-out maul. The Sydney Rays finished the weekend in second place, superior goal-kicking and tenacious defence getting them home against last year’s’ fading champions, Brisbane City.

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All in all, another good week for the NRC, not always champagne quality, but once again chock full of good intent, great tries, and talented players putting their hands up for higher honours.

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