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Recently I wrote an article on the epic qualifying final between the Greater Western Sydney Giants and the Sydney Swans, entitled ‘The Battle of the Bridge the Derby, call it what you will, it was rubbish‘.
Rather than a critique of the on-field performances, it was a somewhat satirical look at a seemingly uninterested section of the crowd in the ANZ members.
Late arrivals, inane noise making apparatus and the over-representation of babies in the crowd all merged to create, for us, a rather humorous and annoying afternoon.
It featured a character named Dave with whom I attended the game.
Saturday October 8th will be a better night. A much better night. The first Sydney derby of the season will unfold at ANZ Stadium and Dave will be there to watch it with me.
He is a derby virgin, an ex-lower grader with the North Sydney Bears, avid Essendon Bombers, Liverpool and NFL fan.
If ticket sale predictions are anything to go by, the stadium will be a sea of red and black, I’ll be one of the dots of blue you might see in wide shots during the Foxtel coverage.
As a derby initiate, Dave will be faced with some enormous and confronting challenges on the night and despite my efforts to try and prepare him for the occasion I am concerned that he might not be ready.
Fashion will be his first big decision. A distinct choice between the sky blue of FC and the Wanderers’ red and black will need to be made, without the assistance of an actual supporters’ journey.
He does support Liverpool and has a jersey and this will automatically align him with the Wanderers. My questions is, ‘Is this considered cheesy? Is a loose colour connection to a team enough to receive ‘cred’ from the hard-core supporters’?
Say if he was to go with a Waratahs jersey, would he then connect rather awkwardly with Sydney FC. It’s a tough decision and the etiquette is cloudy. Perhaps the green and gold of the Socceroos might make a impartial and dignified statement.
I can already see the stress in his face as he labours over this decision, just as Cinderella felt naked without anything to wear to the ball, Dave needs to be kitted out so he can hold his head high throughout the night.
Whichever supporter base entertains him the most might have a new recruit by the end of the night.
However, the Sydney FC fans might struggle to be heard at all if tickets are running at a five to one ratio as the media are reporting.
As a derby virgin he will need to be prepared for the colour and atmosphere that he will encounter outside the ground; the party will have already begun by late afternoon.
Inside the ground, he will undoubtedly lean in and ask at some point in the night, ‘Do these guys ever shut up?’
Luckily for all of us they don’t. I’ll also be sure to explain why the RBB are turning their backs on the game while bouncing together arm in arm.
Becoming accustomed to a few of the subtleties of Australian football will also be required and getting a grasp of the correct pronunciation of some players’ names will be one of the first steps in enjoying the night.
Getting Bobo correct with the emphasis on the second ‘bo’ as opposed to the first will be lesson one. The prospect of getting him to master Vukovic, Dimitreivic, Ninkovic, Aspropotamitis and Jumpei all in one night might be a bit of a stretch, but we’ll see how he goes.
The backstory of both managers will need explanation as their personalities and histories have played a vital role in the development of the style and approach of the two squads.
I’ll make it very clear that Graham Arnold is a grumpy man, intent on grinding away relentlessly with a method that has failed to produce a goals haul large enough to be a serious threat in recent times.
Tony Popovic will be presented as a more daring leader who, at times, frees up his squad to attack to the point of recklessness. Last season’s thrilling 5-4 semi-final victory over Brisbane was evidence of the approach that both supporters and players love about their manager.
I will probably recount a few Socceroo stories of both men wearing the green and gold and representing their country with honour and pride.
This is something that should never be forgotten about these two men; both being there through some dark days for Australian Football. It makes their involvement in this previously unimaginable occasion even more significant, they must pinch themselves each time the derby rolls around.
The intersection of both managers’ careers at Sydney United will also get a mention, along with an explanation of the magnificent nursery that the Club became for the development of players and future managers.
On Saturday night some players’ actions will require specific detailed explanation.
The lack of speed and agility of Sebastian Ryall as another Wanderers forward slips in behind will need a mention, the role of super-sub Brenton Santalab and his heroics with the Roar will also require clarification, as will Mitch Nicholls penchant for popping up in his ‘energiser bunny’ style to score at the exact moment that Wests need him.
After players get clipped, studded or assaulted ‘Muscat style’, I will ensure that Dave fully understands they are indeed hurt.
Great pains will be taken to ensure he understands that the game is actually incredibly tough and quick and the impact in the contest is frightening if viewed from close quarters.
Comments alluding to femininity, cowardice and thespian-like performances, long brandished by league and union supporters in this country, are not accepted on derby day.
If you feel the need to head down this path then leave, go away and don’t come back.
The scoring of a goal will provide another interesting challenge; human contact. Red blooded Australian men will turn to a complete stranger wearing matching colours and embrace them as a long lost cousin.
Being prepared for this romance will be important, declining such an expression of joy could be seen as insulting to a fan that may have just experienced a football epiphany.
A few little touches throughout this week should break down those Anglo-Saxon reservations about physical expressions of emotions. Light brushes of the hand, pats on the back and a gentle knee squeeze every now and then should have him ready to express himself with a passion and vigour that he never thought possible.
Post derby, he will need to be ready for the social media assault of both the victors and the losers. Sydney will either be sky blue or red and black on October 9, depending on the result.
People will beat their chests with pride or comment and post about the next time and the revenge that will be extricated.
Whichever way things pan out on Saturday, how beautiful it will again be, to see Australian football produce a derby that shakes a stadium and a city.
For our game to even play matches such as these in stadiums that seat numbers like the 83,000 capacity of ANZ, says volumes for the game, the fans and even the virgins who will experience it for the first time.
Those virgins represent the future.