Phil Gould turns heads with probing analysis of the Australian cricket team

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    Famed rugby league soothsayer and Penrith Panthers supremo Phil Gould has weighed in on the Australian cricket team’s batting order, summing up every Aussie’s thoughts in his own eloquent way.

    “No, no no, no no,” Gould was quoted as saying on multiple occasions.

    He repeated the adage so many times medical professionals feared for his health, but he assured them it was just particularly scathing criticism usually reserved for tired forwards bunched behind the play-the-ball on Friday night footy.

    When asked to elaborate on his feelings towards the Australian cricket team, in particular, the inability of the top order to stick with Steve Smith or Usman Khawaja, Gould obliged.

    “No no no, no no.”

    Insiders say the Wide World Of Sports producers were so impressed by Gould’s insight that he’s been invited to join the Channel 9 commentary team.

    “He just offers a depth of insight hitherto unseen on our program before. And the monosyllabic words won’t be too difficult for Slats, Tubby and Heals to understand.”

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