- Video
-
Club Roar
Captured a great grassroots sporting moment? We want to see it!Content Collections
The Roar Community
- Join
- Login
After applying a foreign substance to the ball, the South Africans believe they have not breached ICC Code of Conduct law 2.2.9 outlawing the application of foreign substances to the ball. And frankly, I’m with them on this one.
The Proteas believe this particular statute – despite being in place and acknowledged by all, including themselves – is stupid and should not require adhering to.
This defence is deeply impressive for its impenetrability. It leaves the ICC’s attorneys a mountainous legal challenge at next week’s hearing.
These serious allegations – which are only backed by flimsy visual evidence recorded in high definition – have regrettably taken the gloss off the tourist’s unmitigated domination of Australia.
The team decided to front the media on Friday to address the farcical accusations.
Hashim Amla represented the players in place of accused captain Faf du Plessis, who reportedly was unavailable due to having some cavities filled.
Amla delivered an impassioned defence of his absent skipper, describing the slur as “ridiculous” and his captain’s breath as “delicious”.
Amla then turned on du Plessis’ accusers while also taking the opportunity to righteously denounce ignorance towards lollies.
He slammed Australian media and the ICC for their prejudiced views towards confectionery, pleading for more tolerance and a ban on referring to all sweets as “foreign.”
All in all, this justifiable application of rules upon the visitors is yet another major embarrassment for the ICC. It is an organisation that continually lurches from one fair application of the laws to the next.
However, they are not alone as culprits.
The charge also reflects unfavourably on the Australians.
Not only was their batting so poor that it was natural to suggest voodoo, they were conspicuous in forcing the ICC’s hand by distancing themselves from the situation altogether.
Mints are also culpable for being so damn tasty and refreshing.
In summary, it is South Africa’s prerogative to chew candy, ice cream, fairy floss, twinkies or whatever assists in producing the sugary saliva required to magically bend the ball.
At the end of the day, the law that outlaws this practice is just that – a ludicrous law.
In all honesty, the skipper should be able to station at long-on with a croquembouche, hoeing into a fist of fructose with one hand and openly licking the ball like a Paddle Pop in the other.
Just boot these bothersome regulations to the side and let these guys play cricket.
Personally, as a man who loaded his billy kart with weights in his childhood, I am pleased South Africa are taking the fight up the ICC. The governing body’s draconian ways have gone on too long.
Without such intervention, the basic liberties of players are placed in serious jeopardy. Next thing you know, they’ll be banning aluminium bats and spot-fixing.
If that happens, we might as well draw Darrell Hair out of retirement.