One of my biggest bugbears is the fascination with the Ashes.
Don’t take this as condemnation of the traditional rivalry as when battle recommences between England and Australia in November I’ll be as interested as the next man.
But the constant references and random contextualising is annoying.
Have the audacity to lose a Test match and the inevitable result is the tired old: ‘what does this mean with the Ashes x number of months ahead?’
Play a poor shot? ‘The Ashes are coming’.
Deliver a bad spell? ‘The Ashes’.
And so on ad nauseam.
But, as the saying goes, ‘if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em’ and as this is a battle where the chances of success are nil, it’s time for the Ashes preview you probably don’t need but are going to get anyway.
If shops can advertise their Christmas wares with Easter still fresh in the memory then a Test match 11 months in the future, with plenty of water to flow under the bridge beforehand, can safely be considered fair game.
And the timing feels particularly apt given Australia’s resurgent form on home soil.
The victory in Brisbane showed a bit of character and the follow-up in Melbourne harked back to the all-conquering sides of the not too distant past.
Heavy-scoring, seamers with penetration and a spinner getting in on the act, all of which bodes well for what is to come.
In fact, the sideshow of a tour to India should be treated as such because it’s all about the urn and not Ravichandran Ashwin’s next five-wicket haul.
With home form king and a team that is barely recognisable from the one which meekly succumbed to South Africa, there won’t be many bookmakers predicting anything other than Australian success.
Rightly so given the paucity of series defeats on familiar ground and while there should be more of a challenge put up by *Alastair Cook/Joe Root’s men (*delete as appropriate), the hurdle will certainly be higher for the visitors.
If they can find a number six batsman from somewhere – it’s going to be Shaun Marsh so there’s no use pretending otherwise – and wicketkeeper who looks like he might actually contribute with the bat then all will be rosy for Steve Smith et al.
Of course, once the IPL has ruined Mitchell Starc’s back and made Josh Hazlewood rely solely on slower balls to prevent the ball sailing into the suburbs things could look a little different but long-range weather forecasting isn’t the easiest of tasks.
The same kind of thing should be true for England.
Another top order batsman would be nice and a spinner, any spinner, needs to be unearthed but other than that where are the issues?
Oh yes, Jimmy Anderson’s body is no longer as robust as it once was and the real Steven Finn could do with showing up but other than that it’s all hunky dory.
‘If they can’t win in Bangladesh then how can they win in Brisbane?’ I hear you cry but as mentioned a few sentences ago, cricket on the sub-continent – in fact, cricket anywhere else – is mere schedule filler so can be sent straight to the recycle bin.
It’s all about the Gabba on November 26 and once South Africa and West Indies have been trounced as home advantage pays off yet again next summer confidence will be high.
By this time the upcoming Ashes might actually be of some relevance but building towards a series requires incessant commentary.
Actually, no it doesn’t yet while the comments above are very much tongue in cheek, very soon it will be the only topic on the agenda.
But for now, the Ashes should be something to look forward to, not the starting point for any conversation.
India in India is the biggest test in the game today and South Africa have shown they have the wherewithal to win on their travels.
Looking ahead is advisable but forsaking what’s immediately in front of you, as has been shown on many an occasion, isn’t.
Oh, who am I kidding, Ashes!, Ashes!, Ashes!
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