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Want another take on how the ARU should run itself? You got it!
So there’s the Big Bash, an intentionally ironic spin on one of the most boring games ever made (not me though, I love Test cricket).
Football fans have been openly wondering how the FFA can get the A-League into the same bracket of fun and hype that follows the Big Bash.
They seem to forget, though, that while the A-League is trying to be serious and proper, the Big Bash fits in with the laidback vibe of summer.
(Also the only reason the A-League is clashing with the cricket is because it’s in summer to avoid clashing with the NRL and AFL, but whatever, a code war is a code war.)
Anyway, so that got the ol’ noggin jogging – what if the ARU decided to spend that neverending wad o’ cash that’s stashed in Bill Pulver’s sock on a summer rugby sevens tournament – the Australian Rugby Sevens Experience (ARSE)?
This idea is literally faultless.
It’s hot in summer – aw der! – so you’d have to play the games at night. Just like the Big Bash!
Boring games like Adelaide versus Hobart, or Victorian commentators droning on about the AFL during the Melbourne Stars vs Renegades game (that seriously happened) could be avoided by having all the games of a round in one gala.
So you’d play a round (eight games or so, that’s two hours) in one night, at one stadium, and you could send these games around the country.
You wouldn’t get Big Bash burnout, as these rounds would be on every four nights or so. And you could please all the rugby publics by having galas in Newcastle, Cairns, Adelaide and Brett Papworth’s backyard.
The Australian Rugby Sevens Experience would then lead into the Sydney Sevens and Brisbane Tens, generating a teeny weeny bit of excitement at the start of the season to smooth over the transition to Australian Super teams getting wiped by New Zealand sides for the next six months.
And then the club who wins gets a replica of Michelangelo’s David as a trophy, except it has Quade Cooper’s head and it’s called Michelangelo’s Quade.
What do you think? Couldn’t be any worse than the new Star Wars movie.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.