You know, some people say there are far too many opinions out there about who we should select for India.
“There’s a million and one supposed pundits, wannabee pundits and plain ol’ armchair pundits having their say,” they moan.
“You hear ’em droning on and on about picking this guy and not that guy, embellished with spurious arguments and cherry-picked stats and sounding all parochial, unbalanced and in need of a life.
“And the really irksome thing is that they don’t ever seem to tire of it,” they piously add.
“They’re all fueled by a bottomless tank, which, if harnessed by physics, could propel spacecraft deep into the universes furthest infiniteness. It’s stupefying!”
Hmm, stupefying, is it? In need of a life, are we? Well, you know what, you know what I say? I say stuff your infiniteness right between your intergluteal clefts.
Yep, because I want to hear em all; I want every goddamn opinion out there.
I wanna hear every opinion on why we should or shouldn’t select Nathan Lyon.
I want the ones which say he should go because he has the numbers, the form, the talent, as well as the ones saying he has the chutzpah, the right stuff, the ‘Niiiiice’ thing going.
I also want the ones which he say he shouldn’t because he’s second-rate and not suited to the conditions, as well as lunatic fringe stuff like “He’s crooked and in with the bookies,” (which he isn’t).
I want opinions which slur; I also want ones which lionise.
I don’t need fact-checking, substantiations or cross-references.
But I also want fact-checking, substantiations and cross-references. It’s up to you.
Best of all, though, I want the sniping in the threads, I want the squabbles, the bickering and the personal attacks. I want grudges formed and scores settled.
And I want posts in the threads which get under the moderators’ radar. You know, stuff like “O’Keefe is the last to shout at a bar. Rubbish team man.” I then want that to escalate into a shitstorm.
So there it is. I’m 100 per cent in the ‘more is more’ camp. If you’ve got an opinion I want it. They’re much more fun than facts.