Why I absolutely won’t be watching ‘Man v Machine II’

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    Danny Green poses during a bout. (AAP Image/Tony McDonough)

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    February. One of two months of the year where the winter footballs and cricket have little, if anything going on for them in Australia.

    Sure, we have the A-league, and it is quite incredible to watch the dominance of Sydney FC this year, but it is an otherwise quiet time of the year. October is worse, but only just.

    Anthony ‘the Man’ Mundine and Danny ‘the Machine’ Green obviously called each other up and said “why don’t we do something to fill this sporting void in Australia and schedule a meaningless fight on Friday the 3rd?”

    The sad thing is that both men have agreed to just that, and a good 30,000+ people are going to go to the Adelaide Oval and a good deal more will head down to the pub or foolishly pay for it on their Foxtel set and watch it at home.

    I won’t be joining them. I will not be supporting this superannuation top-up. This is insane.

    Two men in their forties – in their forties! – are hopping into a ring for no belt, no title, no demonstration of physical prowess, but rather an exercise in flexing their own egos one more time.

    Will Australia really care who wins this match? No.

    Should Mundine win, will people in 50 years-time talk about how he really is better than Green after all, or vice versa? No. Of course not. Neither had a career really worth remembering for decades to be honest. Good careers, but not all time greats.

    Should two middle aged people be allowed to risk getting Parkinson’s disease for this? God almighty no.

    Who would pay to watch people well beyond their prime box it out for nothing? Who indeed.

    Ten years ago, this was a fight worth watching. This was a fight between two people at their peak. Ultimately we were underwhelmed by the fight. Mundine won in a UD in what was essentially a dance recital from rounds 4-5 onwards. Are we holding this fight to see if they can deliver the fight we wanted to see ten years ago? Almost certainly.

    Are we not so stupid to know that this fight will actually be worse than the one ten years ago? Almost certainly.

    So, with all these questions in mind, why are we bothering with the whole exercise?

    There are plenty of sporting events that with both fore and hindsight were complete wastes of time. This is one. But few of them have ever been held at serious risk to the lives of the competitors. This, sadly is one as well.

    I’m not watching.

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