Bernard Tomic turned heads when he retired due to ‘unbearable heat’ during the Mexican Open, but it seems the tables have been turned.
In the first round in Acapulco, the Schoolies lap-dance enthusiast and occasional professional tennis player quit his match against Donald Young, citing the on-court temperature.
It was 27 degrees.
History repeated itself in his next match-up against little-known Serbian Vlatkav Chokovic, who pulled out of their match early despite holding a one-set lead.
The Serbian cruised through the first set 6-2, but said he could no longer continue the match due to his opponent’s “unbearable flogishness.”
“I like to think I’m a pretty reasonable guy,” Chokovic said.
“But this Aussie just tipped me over the edge.
“Every time I looked up to serve I’d see his smarmy grin and it literally made me sick.
“He broke me.”
Chokovic, who has learned to speak Australian, said that the ATP Tour was no stranger to “full-blown gronks” but Tomic was an “Olympic-level flog”.
Throughout the match, Tomic reportedly complained that the balls were “too bright”, that one of the ball-boy’s faces was “weird” and refused to serve until a member of the crowd complimented his “sick new haircut”.
“Sure Nick Kyrgios can be a giant tool, but at least he’s occasionally exciting,” the Serbian explained.
“This entitled clown doesn’t even come on the court to play tennis – he just sees it as a new opportunity to have a sook.”
Tomic, also known in the locker-rooms as ‘Lord Of The Flogs’, ‘Freddo Flog’ and ‘Michael J. Flog’, is known for his unique ability to be insufferably arrogant while somehow simultaneously managing to outwardly feel sorry for himself.
It’s a trait which has infuriated opponents for years, but Chokovic’s retirement is the first time it’s boiled over on-court.
“I just thought, honestly, what’s the point?
“Continuing to play against him only validates the idea that he is an actual tennis player – and frankly, I don’t want any part in that,” he concluded.
The Roar approached Tomic for comment after the game, but he just repeatedly insisted that we have sexual intercourse with ourselves.
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