Turns out Jordan DeGoey didn’t actually break his hand playing with his dog

Josh Elliott Editor

By , Josh Elliott is a Roar Editor

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    UPDATE: Jordan DeGoey has been given a $5000 fine and banned for three matches following the incident reported below. DeGoey’s three-match ban will only begin after he has fully recovered from his current injury.


    Third-year Collingwood Magpies midfielder Jordan DeGoey appears to be in some hot water after the news was broken earlier today that he reportedly broke his hand in a fight, then lied to Collingwood about the origin of the injury.

    On Monday Collingwood announced that DeGoey would miss their Round 1 match with the Western Bulldogs, having broken his hand while playing with his dog at home.

    “You won’t believe me … he was playing with his dog,” Collingwood coach Nathan Buckley said about the incident on Monday.

    “If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry about it – or I will, anyway.

    “He was playing with his dog and he went to throw a toy – it wasn’t a frisbee.

    “He caught his hand on the edge of a door, a door handle.”

    You were right Bucks, we really didn’t believe you. How does anyone break their hand by catching it on the edge of a door handle?

    Fox Sports is now reporting that DeGoey broke his hand in an altercation on Friday night.

    DeGoey appears likely to cop a punishment of some kind from the club, though the fact that he will miss at least a few weeks due to the injury will make an additional suspension a difficult choice.

    By far the most bizarre aspect of the story has to be that DeGoey completely failed to come up with anything more convincing than “I broke it playing with my dog.”

    To help him out in the future, here are a few quick stabs at a more convincing excuse.

    1. “My dog ate my hand”
    Pull your sleeve down over your hand and just used the most shocked face you can. If this one works for homework, it’ll work for a broken hand. Three weeks later – look, it grew back.

    2. “I fell down some stairs”
    And oldie but a goodie. You need a mate there to back you up. He fell down some stairs.

    3. “My cat was really sick”
    To be fair, I’m not sure how you’d break your hand as a result, but this one got Daniel Talia out of a speeding ticket so why not give it a crack? Plus it stays within the housepet genre.

    Josh Elliott
    Josh Elliott

    Josh Elliott may be The Roar's Weekend Editor, but at heart he's just a rusted-on North Melbourne tragic with a penchant for pun headlines - and also abnormal alliteration, assuredly; assuming achievability. He once finished third in a hot chilli pie eating contest. You can follow him on Twitter @JoshElliott_29 and listen to him on The Roar's AFL Podcast.