The Roar
The Roar

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The truth hurts, that's why we can't handle it

Unhappy Gold Coast Titans fans. (AAP Image/Dan Peled)
Expert
30th March, 2017
40
2508 Reads

Now and again I have a beer with a current NRL player who tells me stuff that, were it to appear publicly with his name attached, would cause the man all manner of angst.

And not because what he says is particularly hot or sexy or – can you channel your best Ray Warren – con-tro-versial.

It’s just that were he to air the laundry of his footy club and tell the truth, he’d be distrusted by his teammates and even fined by the NRL for bringing the game into disrepute.

Because it would damage the game’s all-important ‘brand’.

And that’s because, as old mate Jack Nicholson told Tom Cruise in big Jack’s seminal role as Colonel Nathan R Jessup in A Few Good Men, you can’t handle the truth.

That’s right – you can’t handle the truth.

You think you can. But you can’t.

Sure, you want to know what’s going on at your footy club and within this man’s National Rugby League. But were the actual, unvarnished truth of your footy club to out, and all the fair dinkum callouses and warts become public, you would not like it.

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Because you can judge-aversely for Australia. And brands don’t like to be aversely judged. It hurts their feelings, and their ability to continue taking off with your money.

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Consider your footy team. They’re like a big family. And like any family, the players spend so much time with one another, there’s going to be disagreements.

In a group of 30 guys, not everyone’s going to be best mates. Blow-ups are normal.

My man in the NRL has talked of punch-ups, blokes really ripping in, stuff that would’ve gone big in the news if it hadn’t been kept in-house.

Remember a couple seasons ago, that ‘thing’ in Brisbane when they thought Josh McGuire was leaking things to the media and they set up a sting?

Apparently McGuire had been telling his manager stuff who was then telling a radio mob. Anyway, that got out. And it perhaps could’ve been handled better by the Broncos. Definitely, they’d have preferred it kept in-house.

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At a footy club, what goes on in-house has to stay in-house. And it needs to be that way, you need trust among teammates. It’s spoken about a lot at clubs; senior blokes will get serious in meetings – this stays in-house.

“But the good things with blokes is that disagreements, they’re usually not held as grudges,” reckons my man.

“You can have a disagreement, it gets sorted and you move on. And that’s what’s happened in Brisbane. They had their spat, sorted it, moved on.

“Blokes have disagreements at training, blokes will get up each other for not having a go. But that’s part and parcel. That happens every day. And you need that. It’s about accountability, about holding up a certain standard.

“You need to have respect among each other to be able to say something and for that person to not hold a grudge. And if it’s you on the end of a spray, and it’s a fair call, you’ve got to put your hand up and cop it.”

Fair enough. And understandable. But were that warty stuff to be made public, the public would judge. As judgement is averse.

Oh, it’s the media’s fault? No – it’s the public’s. It’s you. The media makes the story public. But it’s the public – you – who judges.

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And that’s a straight up fact.

Souths Celebrate : NRL Rugby League - Roind 25, South Sydney Rabbitohs V Wests Tigers at Allianz Stadium friday the 30th of August 2013. Digital Image by Grant Trouville © nrlphotos.com

And here we are.

More sexy stuff?

You know when you see blokes stuff up in a game and blokes will pat them on the back and say it’s sweet? Well, according to my man, it’s not sweet:

“On the field, you back the bloke. At training, in meetings, you hold blokes accountable. If it’s your job you need to get it done.

“It’s not a bad thing for people to voice that. It’s about the culture being strong enough and the respect being great enough for blokes to both say things and cop things. It’s not always that way in a footy club, but it is in the successful ones.”

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Footy culture, like everyday life, has changed. Young blokes are coming through with a lot more self-assurance. Millennial men are thinking to themselves: why not me? Why not now?

Why not indeed? Well, because there should be a nod to seniority, according to my man.

“Years ago, when you came into grade and one of the older boys told you to do something, you’d do it,” he says. “Jump? How high? Unpack all the luggage off the team bus? Yes sir, Mr Lockyer, sir!

“Now it’s more people talking about young blokes being ‘equal’, about everyone being equal.

“And I don’t necessarily agree. I think you have to have earn stripes. Young blokes can come through cocky, confident.

“The under-20s has driven that a bit. They’re getting on TV even though it’s more a glorified Jersey Flegg comp. Premier League used to be a big step up, going from boys to men. Now a lot of young kids hit 20s and think they’re one step off first grade. It’s not the case!”

Some clubs do try to keep it going, the seniority thing. At some clubs it’s still about ‘earning stripes’.

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“But there’s a lot of, let’s call them ‘confident’, kids today who seem to think that’s not how it should be. They just want it all from the get-go without doing any time.

“They’re being lauded by their peers, girls, managers. Some are coming though with pretty big tickets on themselves.”

Interesting stuff? Now consider that you knew who was saying it. And what his honesty might cost him. And whether you could handle the truth.

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