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A little over a year ago, after another insipid Reds loss to the Waratahs, I banged out an open letter to the Queensland Rugby Union.
I was trying in vain to convey to them the pain their inept management of my beloved team was causing me and my fellow fans on a weekly basis.
That letter was shared all around the world, and I was taken aback, though not completely surprised, by the level of support I received. Several news organisations picked it up, and two weeks later, Richard Graham was sacked.
Despite our dire predicament, there seemed to be some slight sense of hope on the Reds’ horizon.
That hope had all but burned out this year as the Reds limped to two wins from the opening two months of the completion. Sure, there were some bright spots, but the revival we had pinned our hopes on appeared to be non-existent.
An entertaining win over the Kings a fortnight ago was some cause for optimism, particularly after the Waratahs went down to the same team a week later, but it was obvious there was still a long road to travel to get the Reds back on track.
So here I am, a year after I first tried to type my way to a solution, walking out of Suncorp Stadium after another loss to those bloody Tahs. Again, I head to the keyboard. Again, I hope that I can make sense of my feelings through words. But tonight, I feel very, very different.
Yes, I am absolutely gutted at the fact that our losing streak to the old enemy continues. And yes, I cannot begin to fathom how much that referee wanted to gift victory to those blue invaders. But tonight, there is something new.
Something I haven’t felt in a long time. Something I’ve missed even more than the feeling of victory. For tonight, I feel pride.
I am bristling with it. I cannot remember the last time I was this proud of my Reds. Cannot remember the last time I wasn’t embarrassed to say that I’m Red to the bone. Tonight, they are my team again.
Maybe it was Karmichael Hunt’s relentless charges into and through the line. Maybe it was Higgers and the Tui twins throwing their weight around like the madmen they are.
Maybe it was Steve Moore remembering that yes, he was in fact a Queenslander. Maybe it was Izaia Perese, Samu Kerevi and Duncan Paia’aua combining skill and power like a well-oiled machine. Or maybe it was George Smith showing that you don’t need to be a Queenslander to know how much this game means to those with Maroon blood.
But you know what? It was all that and more. It was every single man in a maroon (yes, Maroon!) jersey, putting their bodies on the line time and again, from the first whistle to the last, even when those whistles were some of the worst I have ever seen.
We kept coming, kept showing up like all of those great Queensland teams have for decades before. I can’t count how many times I stood and applauded tonight. Not because I thought they needed it. Not because I thought I could cajole some more effort from them. No, tonight I stood and applauded because they deserved it.
They had earned it. And I was only too happy to oblige.
A part of me wants to talk about how diabolical that refereeing was. A part of me wants to go the whinge. But that would be doing our Reds a disservice. Because they will not want to use that as an excuse, as much as they could.
They are not here to be gallant losers anymore. Winning is the only currency they recognise, and as poor as they appear to be right now, they have banked something very valuable tonight. Because I can guarantee that every one of those Reds fans, sitting in the stands just like me, is heading home feeling something that they haven’t felt in a long time. Just like me, they are proud.
They are Queensland rugby when nobody wants to be Queensland rugby. They are Red, and they wouldn’t have it any other way.
So now, a year after my first letter, I finish this one in a very different frame of mind, despite the similar result.
I need every one of those heroes in maroon to know that I am proud. I am proud to wear your colours. I am proud to take my seat behind the bench every week. I am proud, like I used to be, of being a Red.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.