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Alternate summer jobs for Australia's cricketers

Marcus Stoinis - headed for Baywatch? But not quite. (AAP Image/SNPA, Ross Setford)
Roar Pro
24th May, 2017
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The relationship between Cricket Australia and the Australian Cricketers Association continues to leap from one burning building to the next, with the ACA revealing this week that they are going to take control of the player image rights.

Now, the inability to put Cameron White’s face on a KFC advertisement may not mean a lot to you, but it does to Cricket Australia.

There’s gold in them there stupid bucket-hats.

CA and the ACA have also both publicly acknowledged that the players may not have employment come the summer, which could be an issue for contesting the Ashes, as well for the players who may need a pay cheque.

With this in mind, here are some possible summer jobs for the team.

Steve Smith: Quality control inspector. It doesn’t matter about the field, his ability to focus and concentrate for hours can be applied to any industry. Perhaps the NBN might be a good start?

Usman Khawaja: Banana farm. Given he is in Queensland, he won’t have too far to travel and this will also give him the opportunity to do the picking for once.

Dave Warner: Demolition. A bit of an obvious one, but a man that spends that much blasting bowling attacks is an ideal fit for bringing down any size structure he comes up against.

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Also, is quite open to being in a union.

Marcus Stoinis: Coastguard in the Baywatch sequel

Josh Hazlewood: For the uninitiated, there is not only going to be a potential lack of cricket on this summer, but there may also be a lack of electricity supply due to the hilarious combination of poor planning to respond to increasing demand and reduced supply.

Given his name and height, Hazlewood is well placed to stand in East Gippsland and hold up a wind turbine to help generate some power.

Patrick Cummins: Orderly. I’m not really sure if he has any skills or qualifications, but the man has spent that much time being sick that he must know the operations of hospitals backwards.

Matthew Wade: Given his sporting pedigree and the time of year, it’s an ideal moment for Wade to try his hand at cricket.

Nathan Lyon: Groundsman. I’m not sure if you’re aware, but Nathan Lyon was the assistant groundsman at Adelaide Oval.

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With plenty of other sports on over the Summer and a sudden abundance of available grounds (Perth may have TWO Test grounds not being used), there is going to be a need for groundsmen.

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