In a breakthrough for evolutionary science, historians have unearthed records of a coach criticising the referee after winning.
Believed to be the first and only of its kind, the artefact was stumbled upon as investigators trawled archives for mankind’s last legal play-the-ball.
The stunning discovery is timely as the finals race gets desperate, with coaches now in the process of smearing refs while accepting full responsibility for losing.
As seen recently, Michael Maguire, Paul McGregor and long-time recidivist Ricky Stuart have all frantically deployed the tactic in search of rebound penalty counts.
However, uncovering evidence of a grumpy winner now proves all coaches aren’t just sore losers, they can be irrational a-holes when they win too.
While still being forensically determined, the evidence is believed to be dated from the late 1800s and refers to Cameron Smith’s undue influence.
The surly coach was slamming the referee’s weakness to control the match despite his side earning an unremarkable 22-12 victory in a competition marking the industrial revolution.
He was also reportedly peeved officials didn’t sin-bin an offender for repeated infringements on their own line, rather than allow his team to score a try.
He then ferociously called upon the league to appoint an on-field assistant, and even suggested the idea of reviewing contentious decisions with sketch artistry.
The coach’s identity remains unknown, but he was believed to be in his mid-40s, a mentor of a suburban-based side, and disoriented.
Following the outburst, he was reportedly fined two head of livestock by the game’s governing body, and then a month’s hard labour by the coaches association for breaking protocol.
After being examined for accuracy and booze, the artefact will be donated to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
Here it will sit alongside other historical refereeing relics like TNT shirts and self-confidence.
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