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I had thought to write this article well before the passing of Drew Morphett, whose voice is etched in my memory watching AFL in the 1980s.
However, his passing is ultimately a timely reminder.
As a fresh-faced Hawks supporter in the glorious 1980s, when I did not realise that the grand final could be played without Hawthorn, Morphett’s voice regaled so many of those glory days, that as I matured, I laughed at the realisation he was not in fact a Hawthorn supporter himself.
Same with Lou Richards, who I had associated more with Hawthorn than Collingwood.
Whether we like it or not, the voices in commentary are more often than not primarily associated with the vision that we witness for years after the matches themselves are played out.
AFL has a long line of quality modern commentators: Sandy Roberts, Anthony Hudson, of course Dennis Commetti. I’d throw Kelli Underwood in that list, though her time was cruelly cut short.
AFL has a bank account lined with broadcaster dollars, essentially broadcasters paying to be the voice of the game.
So whose voice are we actually listening to? Because on current output, it’s hardly worth paying attention to.
I can understand the thinking behind it, back in the late 1990s, when broadcasters wanted to cash in on highly marketable and hugely popular retiring footy stars.
Good on the field? Well, they must know what’s going on. Give them a microphone so they can tell us.
Wrong.
As the art of journalism dies out to the populism that is public relations and social media, so too is the humble commentator moving aside for the retired athlete.
Say what you like about Bruce MacAvaney – and for the purpose of this article, I won’t – but the one thing you simply cannot ever say about Bruce is that he does not know what is going on.
His deep knowledge of every event that he puts words to is unrivalled.
The other thing you can’t say about Bruce, though this point is arguable, and you may not like what he says, he very much knows how and when to say it.
The education as a broadcaster has taught him what to look for, how to operate, when to lay it on, and when to draw back.
Now, these days, Bruce might be a bit more of a caricature of himself than in his prime in the 1990s, but that just happens over time.
Bruce is very much a broadcaster first, and a sports enthusiast second.
Not so your retired footballers.
Roaming Brian (#RoamingBrian) was weaving his magic after the Hawks sent their idolised captain Luke Hodge off a winner on Friday night, when he corralled James Sicily.
You know, James Sicily? The bloke who during the match BT had described as having a face that was ‘punchable,’ while face to face lauding Sicily for having a character that ‘we love.’
To top off the lack of professional polish (and I’m being kind) in the interview, BT asked Sicily when he’s going to finally re-sign with the Hawks, to which Sicily looked confused, saying that had already been announced. BT smirked that must’ve only happened in the last day or two.
No BT, Sicily had re-signed on Tuesday.
Now, putting aside BT’s apparent condoning of assault, it is his inability to have a simple awareness of AFL current affairs that simply smacks of amateurishness. He didn’t even have to research that one.
I’m aware of most clubs’ re-signings, and I have a full-time job.
BT is just the tip of the iceberg, and I’m not going to name and shame all and sundry that I feel aren’t up to standard.
Personally, I find a particular former Geelong player the hardest to follow, and it’s not necessarily the one you think.
What is clear is that simply knowing the subject matter does not automatically mean that they know how to talk about it.
Mark Ricciutto, on the Front Bar, was presented with his top six commentary moments, and while I question the courage of Sam Pang in pointing them out to Roo on live TV, he was at least easy-going enough to laugh them off.
We do all make mistakes.
But I go back to my original premise, in that these are the new voices of the game that will be remembered for decades.
So is this the voice that the AFL wants people hearing?
Further to that, there is also one last point worth raising.
The likes of BT and Sam Newman are lauded by the public for being straight shooters, and for calling it out how it is.
Whether it’s BT talking about Sicily’s punchable face, or Sam Newman somewhat hysterically questioning Robert Murphy’s right to hold up a premiership cup, these two are not straightshooters at all.
They are more voice pieces for a lack of desire to look deeper, emblematic of those that have chosen not to look outside a particular reality that they have accepted.
Remember, Sam Newman (professing to be a “professional commentator” as he was landing a pie in the face of David Schwartz on national television) once uttered the following.
“I am a white, Anglo Saxon, male, protestant heterosexual, I’m waiting for my day to come.”
Now, take it from a white, mostly Anglo Saxon, male, protestant, heterosexual that every day is “white, Anglo Saxon, male, protestant, heterosexual” day, but putting that issue aside, that quote, his own response to the Adam Goodes booing saga, was curious.
Whether you agreed with it or not, for a bloke who said we should keep politics out of sport, that to me sounded pretty darn political.
So if you are not going to follow your very own set of rules when it comes to what you are doing as a broadcaster, what then can we expect from your broadcasting?
Which brings us full circle.
To the men (and, please God, let there be many more women) who are entrusted with voicing the spectacle that we view, please start learning your craft.
Don’t just talk; actually broadcast.
This is a message to all sports: NRL, football, tennis, and do not even get me started on Shane Warne.
Because in ten, twenty, fifty, and one hundred years time, when they are replaying these things, let’s not force them to watch the footage muted.
Come follow me on Twitter @KdogRoars
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