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Maybe it's time for Sydney to introduce a ‘no going missing in finals' policy

The Swans have underperformed according to the numbers. (AAP Image/Julian Smith)
Roar Pro
19th September, 2017
32
1206 Reads

Who saw that coming last weekend? By ‘that’, I don’t mean Gary Rohan having a shocker, for if ever there was a bloke born to play really well for the Suns and therefore never in a final again, it is him.

But, to predict that Josh Kennedy, Lance Franklin and Luke Parker, among others, would all perform as if auditioning for a role in The Missing? That would have been a bridge too far for even Nostradamus.

Some of the Swans, including John Longmire, are starting to make a habit of folding in finals, though at least this year they didn’t save it for grand final day.

The ‘no dickheads’ policy has served the club well, however a ‘no going missing in finals’ policy could be even handier.

Chris Judd said that Buddy’s move to Sydney has been a success. A bloke who voluntarily shifted from West Coast to Carlton would say that. Spending $10 million and not expecting a premiership is ludicrous. I paid $50 for a cockatiel that can’t learn to whistle ‘Up there Cazaly’ and am considering asking for a refund.

When Buddy’s finished at the Swans, he won’t be remembered for the number of boat shoes, checked shirts and Botoxed faces he’s dragged through the gates.

Longmire claimed Sydney looked ‘tired’ after their capitulation against Geelong, so hopefully a glass of warm milk each before bed fixed that. I had a quick look at the draw and it seems the Swans played the same number of games as every other club this year, including recent training runs against Fremantle, Carlton and Essendon before having a bye.

Sydney consumers are notoriously fickle and by the time Buddy is finished the Swans could be joining trendy bakeries and frozen yoghurt shops in wondering where their crowds have gone.

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If it was Sydney’s worst performance since the 2014 decider, then it was Geelong’s best since their premiership win in 2011. Even Steven Motlop was trying. Still, there is more chance of Jake Stringer captaining the Bulldogs next year than there is of Geelong playing that well again this week.

Joel Selwood claimed that Chris Scott was Geelong’s best player last Friday and he’s probably right, but I wouldn’t be making a habit of expecting too much from a bloke who will be wearing a polo shirt during matches.

If the Cats overcome the Crows, then the pre-finals bye should be extinguished faster than the entertainment at a St Kilda Mad Monday.

It was sad to see two Brownlow medalists bow out with a loss last Saturday, but all is not lost as a job in coaching beckons for Sam Mitchell, and Matt Priddis has a long career in front of him as a Gene Wilder lookalike.

Mitchell was the leading goalkicker for West Coast, which is precisely why they didn’t win, and Steve Johnson was the leading goalkicker for GWS, which is not precisely why they did win.

Both the Eagles and Johnson were finished by halftime, but thankfully in the second half, the latter provided some entertainment for what would have been an exceptionally large crowd for an NRL match.

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The problem for Greater Western Sydney is that this week they have to perform in front of a crowd six times larger, 99 per cent of whom want them to lose. I’m not sure the Giants will cope, as many of their talented youngsters are like window cleaners, so much do they enjoy being on the outside looking in. That lack of hardness will cost them against the ferocious Tigers, no matter what Stevie J can conjure.

Tigers fans are very much like their Collingwood counterparts, only with human qualities, which is why we all love them so much and want them to win, whereas if GWS don’t win a premiership for another 37 years only about 1200 people will care.

Prediction
Brian Taylor will be roaming around the rooms of one of his former clubs this Saturday night and everyone in there will want to talk to him.

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