Marwan Koukash might just be crazy enough for the Titans

Dane Eldridge Columnist

By , Dane Eldridge is a Roar Expert

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    Marwan Koukash has emerged as a legitimate suitor for the Gold Coast Titans, chiefly because he is erratic, litigious and seven-eighths gold bullion.

    Nobody is better suited to control the hormonal Titans than a self-made squillionaire with a penchant for anti-authoritarianism and racehorses.

    Spare me your business mumbo-jumbo about how Koukash aces the ‘important’ criteria as someone who prints his own money and gets things done.

    What separates him from the pack is that he is more Gold Coast than a failed property development with plastic boobs.

    Koukash is a colourful identity who likes spending, legal stoushes, impulsive sackings and challenging high office.

    If he’s not secretly the mayor or a Tomic, I’ll gladly chew on my sandy g-banger.

    With it being almost seven weeks since the Titans have been in the headlines, he is the man to return the club to its charming skittishness with a dash of Euro panache.

    The club should do something crazy that isn’t a cocaine saga or a five-year deal and let him electrify the place with his cavalier attitude.

    As we know, the Gold Coast is a volatile steed that can only be tamed by one of two ways; repeated re-brandings, or something with more money than Elvis.

    Koukash is worth an estimated $3 billion, even after making rash purchases like Todd Carney. This makes the former Salford owner the perfect match for the Titans, despite his ability to appropriately manage money.

    Without being too reductive, he has enough in his ashtray to pay out Jarryd Hayne and commission more Wayne Bennetts or Walker brothers to coach the side, should he so desire.

    Most encouragingly, Koukash’s rescue of Salford was a perfect dress rehearsal for the Gold Coast. He solved their finances, took them to the top four, and most importantly, changed the team name.

    In a further positive, he is also renowned for not taking a backward step with administrators, which is superb because the NRL needs more angry clubs.

    No doubt he will commence badgering Todd Greenberg for a better deal for the Gold Coast, right after he buys the club from him.

    In summary, Koukash is the man for the Glitter Strip, because if the club is serious about respecting its history, the last thing they need is the moribund beige of stability.

    Rebecca Frizelle and Darryl Kelly are far too qualified for the role, and the Bears consortium is avoidably sound. Such a marriage would be highly inappropriate and a slap in the face for the club’s charter.

    The Titans should accede to the man’s advances, even if instinct tells you two such forces should remain as far apart as possible.

    Dane Eldridge
    Dane Eldridge

    Dane was named best and fairest in the 2004 Bathurst mixed indoor cricket competition. With nothing in the game left to achieve, he immediately retired at his peak to a reclusive life ensconced in the velvet of organised contests. Catch the man on Twitter @eld2_0.

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