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Cricket Australia's selection policy to no longer include metrics

28th October, 2017
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Ed Cowan's been hitting runs for fun in the Sheffield Shield. (AAP Image)
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28th October, 2017
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Cricket Australia has announced it will no longer be recognising runs or wickets when judging competency.

Selectors will now determine suitability for the sacred honour of national representation using a patented metric system based on potential and presence.

Their decision was inspired by the resounding success of New South Wales recently neglecting Ed Cowan’s 959 runs @ 73.77 in favour of futures stocks.

Despite widespread condemnation, CA was impressed with the Blues’ call to field a side with fewer voices of disapproval and a lower median age.

Within 48 hours, powerbrokers adopted the move and amended their selection policy to scrap fact-based evidence from consideration.

Many have long speculated this to be the governing body’s private strategy, with suspicions raised after David Warner survived a lean run on the subcontinent because of a “strong manner” through the pay dispute.

The historic announcement is CA’s first public disclosure of selection policy since the Michael Clarke era, when players were only considered if they had spent time on James Packer’s boat.

Their decision was inspired by a belief that indisputable metrics are a thing of the past, and because they could no longer plausibly deny they ignored them anyway.

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CA are confident the decision will now allow its selectors the freedom of a non-quantifiable environment that encourages subjectivity and agendas.

Outlawing performance will also provide scope to reject proven ability, especially in tight selection calls involving candidates that are old or outspoken.

The administration has begun efforts to extinguish any trace of a meritocracy, with work already underway on developing an algorithm to measure energy, deference and bowling loads.

This will play a pivotal role in CA achieving its vision of nurturing players up to their prime before forever warehousing them in backwater competitions like Sheffield Shield, essentially building them for a future that never arrives.

With domestic cricket already a science experiment, the organisation is confident this announcement will bring them one step closer towards transforming everything in to a pathway competition, including Test cricket.

Despite officially abandoning analytics forever, CA has made assurances all players will still be considered for national selection in this week’s round of Shield matches, provided they can “bomb ‘em long.”

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