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It’s hunting season… again!

Machooka Roar Guru

By Machooka, Machooka is a Roar Guru

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112 Have your say

    Yep Roarers, ’tis the season where the Wallabies, pouch packed with boots and all, hop it to the north for our Spring Tour against the old enemies. Oh, and those Northerners call it Autumn. We call it Spring. It’s on regardless.

    Likewise, we Wallaby supporters will set alarm clocks to stir us awake for nocturnal viewing while alone (usually) in our sleepy abodes at an ungodly hour. That’s right, for four weekends this pattern is repeated ad nauseam. Sleep is for the weak.

    And as we settle, comfy in our Italian designed, leather reclining armchairs, I am reminded of the ‘armchair’ word thingy. For, like most, we are just that, distant designer armchair supporters.

    This Wallaby Spring Tour, with its tyranny of distance, affords us that. It is accepted. We automatically become armchair supporters. Critics. Critical supporters in designer armchairs. It is what we do, it is, after all, the hunting season… again.

    I am also reminded of an old advertisement on television, here in Australia, where the father is driving his son to school, and when asked by son about the ‘Great Wall of China’ and, like, what was that all about, the father, hands ever tightening on the steering wheel, replied ‘it was to keep the Wabbits out’.

    This comment, sadly, reflects what for most Wallaby armchair critics is their total knowledge of our Spring Tour. Basically, we haven’t got a clue as to what the enemy may be building to repel us Aussies.

    Now, in fairness to this stated position, I am no different. I try to convince myself that I know what I’m talking about, but in reality, I have no idea what the Welsh, the Poms, or even those tight-fisted Scots have in store for us. Have they been busily building walls to keep the Wallabies out?

    So, with this in mind, I thought it wise to have a butcher’s as to what the Wallabies are up against.

    Japan
    I love Japanese food. I also love the Japanese. They’re mad in the best possible way.

    And, yes Charlie, the Brave Blossom can dine out on their famous 2015 victory over the Boks forever!

    Surely a win here to the Wallabies!?!

    Author’s note: At the time of writing, the Wallabies have now dined out on Japanese… job done. Now, only three more courses to go.

    Samu Kerevi

    (Photo by Matt Roberts/Getty Images)

    Wales
    Some unkind people refer to Wales as the Wallabies’ bunnies, as it has been a while since poor old Wales has beaten Australia. Mind you, they’ve come close at times, but close is never good enough, eh? We Wallaby fans know all about coming close… damn All Blacks.

    For me, as the Welsh team/squad contains only one Jones, so they’ve gotta be rubbish, right? Plus, there’s that Warren. The same Warren that was savaged by his own Lions. Yep, strike another one up for the Wallabies.

    England
    Geez, it even pains me to say the word, let alone write it. They say hate is a strong word, so I’ll go with that. Plus, the Poms have now got that little grinning Randwick type as their coach. More so, they even had the audacity to come down here recently, accept our hospitality, drink all our beer, and then sweep us out of our very own home!

    How rude.ย 

    Suffice to say, it was a very rude awakening for the Wallabies and one that coach Cheika would be most keen to return serve at their place. Yep, Twickenham will be huge and the Wallabies must win. Please… they must, must win!

    Scotland
    I don’t want to talk about them. Or Murray Field. Or their Princess Anne. Just beat them.

    There you go Roarers, that’s my expert take on this upcoming Spring Tour, or EOYT. And I’ll be damned if I’m calling it an Autumn Tour. You can keep that one ya northerners!

    Thus, the hunt is now most definitely on against the Northern Hemisphere sides. So, let the Wallabies loose in their top paddock and hope they do the job.

    Daffodils, Red Roses and lastly that prickly, thorny, annoying Thistle. I want a scorched earth policy employed here for all these three… and nothing less.

    Your comments would be most welcomed.

    C’arn the Wallabies.

    This video could win $10,000!

    It's one of the favourites to take out the Club Roar most popular video award on Monday!

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    The Crowd Says (112)

    • Columnist

      November 8th 2017 @ 4:05am
      Nicholas Bishop said | November 8th 2017 @ 4:05am | ! Report

      Very nice Chookster – particularly the bit about the English ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Roar Guru

        November 8th 2017 @ 10:09am
        Machooka said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:09am | ! Report

        Thanks Nicholas… those English types would have to be public enemy No1 for Cheika’s mob eh.

        But, in saying that, a win against all three home nations is the goal. Is it doable? Yes. Will it happen? Hope springs eternal for this little Chookster ๐Ÿ™‚

        • Roar Guru

          November 9th 2017 @ 10:38am
          jeznez said | November 9th 2017 @ 10:38am | ! Report

          Love the hate is a strong word line – brilliant

          • Roar Guru

            November 9th 2017 @ 11:22am
            Machooka said | November 9th 2017 @ 11:22am | ! Report

            Onya buddy… love that you love!

            Interesting days ahead with the so-called IPRC… dare say many many days ahead eh!?!

            • Roar Guru

              November 9th 2017 @ 4:11pm
              jeznez said | November 9th 2017 @ 4:11pm | ! Report

              Looking forward to the next announcement on that. Force Fan shared a release from Asia Rugby yesterday that was a good read.

              Trevor Gregory who is the World Rugby rep for Asia used to be the HKRFU head honcho. He spoke glowingly about the IPRC – will be interested to see if my mail is actually incorrect and HK do buy in.

          • Roar Guru

            November 9th 2017 @ 7:37pm
            RobC said | November 9th 2017 @ 7:37pm | ! Report

            need a stronger word. Might be more appropriate

    • November 8th 2017 @ 6:43am
      Redsfan1 said | November 8th 2017 @ 6:43am | ! Report

      Could go 0/3,1/3, 2/3 or 3/3. None would surprise me.

      • November 8th 2017 @ 9:43am
        Dave_S said | November 8th 2017 @ 9:43am | ! Report

        Given recent history, it could be 3 draw!

      • Roar Guru

        November 8th 2017 @ 10:10am
        Machooka said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:10am | ! Report

        Redsfan1… only a 3/3 is worth contemplating at the mo. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        • November 9th 2017 @ 10:41pm
          cuw said | November 9th 2017 @ 10:41pm | ! Report

          Jones returns to lead Wales

          Wales:

          15 Leigh Halfpenny, 14 Liam Williams, 13 Jonathan Davies, 12 Owen Williams, 11 Steff Evans, 10 Dan Biggar, 9 Gareth Davies,

          8 Taulupe Faletau, 7 Josh Navidi, 6 Aaron Shingler, 5 Alun Wyn Jones (c), 4 Jake Ball, 3 Tomas Francis, 2 Ken Owens, 1 Rob Evans

          Replacements:

          16 Kristian Dacey, 17 Nicky Smith, 18 Leon Brown, 19 Cory Hill, 20 Sam Cross, 21 Aled Davies, 22 Owen Watkin, 23 Hallam Amos

          Date: Saturday, November 11

          Venue: Principality Stadium

          Kick-Off: 17:15 local (16:15 GMT)

          Referee: Glen Jackson (New Zealand)

          Assistant referees: Jaco Peyper (South Africa), Ian Tempest (England)

          TMO: Graham Hughes (England

    • Roar Guru

      November 8th 2017 @ 7:08am
      Harry Jones said | November 8th 2017 @ 7:08am | ! Report

      Brilliant erudite stuff.

      The Hasselhoff of the Roar.

      • Columnist

        November 8th 2017 @ 7:17am
        Nicholas Bishop said | November 8th 2017 @ 7:17am | ! Report

        You mean you can imagine a bronzed Chook running down the literary beach in slo-mo H??

        • Columnist

          November 8th 2017 @ 7:54am
          Brett McKay said | November 8th 2017 @ 7:54am | ! Report

          Ha, I can!!

          • Roar Guru

            November 8th 2017 @ 8:09am
            Diggercane said | November 8th 2017 @ 8:09am | ! Report

            I wont.

          • Columnist

            November 8th 2017 @ 8:30am
            Nicholas Bishop said | November 8th 2017 @ 8:30am | ! Report

            It’s a privilege, not a choice Brett ๐Ÿ˜€

          • Roar Guru

            November 8th 2017 @ 10:38am
            Machooka said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:38am | ! Report

            Ha. Ha!

            Shouldn’t you be writing about something… instead of dreaming Brett!?!

            Or better still, if you’re gonna dream, it should be about Vikings eh ๐Ÿ˜‰

        • Roar Guru

          November 8th 2017 @ 5:26pm
          Harry Jones said | November 8th 2017 @ 5:26pm | ! Report

          Yes. I am imaginative.

        • Roar Guru

          November 9th 2017 @ 7:38pm
          RobC said | November 9th 2017 @ 7:38pm | ! Report

          MrChook is born bronzed. He turns gold on the beach

      • Roar Guru

        November 8th 2017 @ 10:15am
        Machooka said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:15am | ! Report

        Mr. Jones… there is no such thing as a Hasselhoff anymore.

        It’s the Hoff… not that I would, like, really know or anything.

        Thank-you for your comment… I think!?!

        • Roar Guru

          November 8th 2017 @ 5:27pm
          Harry Jones said | November 8th 2017 @ 5:27pm | ! Report

          Da Wallaby and Da Bok will have a baby! It’s called Grand Slam!!!

        • November 8th 2017 @ 7:37pm
          Cuw said | November 8th 2017 @ 7:37pm | ! Report

          there’s a HOFF in auzzy reffing panel too – right?

          anyways the HOff is gone from baywatch i hear – the Rock is in.

          mmmm “Do you smell what The Rock is cooking?”

    • Roar Guru

      November 8th 2017 @ 8:09am
      Diggercane said | November 8th 2017 @ 8:09am | ! Report

      Great stuff mate, here’s hoping for an unbeaten end to the year aye?

      • Roar Guru

        November 8th 2017 @ 10:18am
        Machooka said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:18am | ! Report

        Thanks Diggeriwi… let’s hope all Southern teams go unbeaten on their Spring tours aye!

        Especially Mr. Jones’ Bok against the pride of Ireland… game of the w’end for mine.

        • Roar Guru

          November 8th 2017 @ 10:22am
          Diggercane said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:22am | ! Report

          Have to agree there mate, really looking forward to that. Long night ahead me thinks, hopefully the scheduling helps out a little too. Must check!

        • November 8th 2017 @ 10:24am
          Fionn said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:24am | ! Report

          ‘Thanks Diggeriwiโ€ฆ letโ€™s hope all Southern teams go unbeaten on their Spring tours aye’

          Best comment I’ve read all year, Machooka ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Roar Guru

            November 8th 2017 @ 10:30am
            Machooka said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:30am | ! Report

            Thanks Fionn… bottomline is it’s South v North, and at the end of the day, we are all southern brothers ๐Ÿ™‚

        • November 8th 2017 @ 10:31am
          Jerry said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:31am | ! Report

          Too late, the Barbarians have already lost and they were 99% SH!

          • Roar Guru

            November 8th 2017 @ 10:35am
            Machooka said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:35am | ! Report

            ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Roar Guru

        November 9th 2017 @ 7:39pm
        RobC said | November 9th 2017 @ 7:39pm | ! Report

        We beat England, MrChook will have chicken feet for breakfast

    • November 8th 2017 @ 8:27am
      Rugby Tragic said | November 8th 2017 @ 8:27am | ! Report

      Nice article, well written Mr Chookie, thanks. It takes the seriousness out of the serious business of taking apart those northerners. Good luck to your Wallabies for the rest of the “Spring Tour,” which I think is going to put perspective of where each side lies at the midway point between RWC’s…

      • Roar Guru

        November 8th 2017 @ 10:19am
        Machooka said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:19am | ! Report

        Love you Tragic man ๐Ÿ™‚

        • November 8th 2017 @ 7:39pm
          Cuw said | November 8th 2017 @ 7:39pm | ! Report

          @ Machooka

          is this ur first article here ?

          cant recall anything else ( onset of dementia i gues ๐Ÿ™‚ )

          • Roar Guru

            November 9th 2017 @ 9:38am
            Machooka said | November 9th 2017 @ 9:38am | ! Report

            Right on cuw, Cuw… the answer is NO!

      • Roar Guru

        November 9th 2017 @ 7:41pm
        RobC said | November 9th 2017 @ 7:41pm | ! Report

        I thought he was serious!

        If WBs get 3/3, esp against ENG, then Check will give Ned a “6” for life

        • November 9th 2017 @ 8:32pm
          Rugby Tragic said | November 9th 2017 @ 8:32pm | ! Report

          Mate, I wouldn’t be too surprised if you guys got over the Poms… a little bit of confidence can go a long way and I reckon the Wallabies are walking on water at the moment…

          Ummm err, if that happens do you reckon Folua will be able to force his way back into the side? .. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Roar Guru

            November 9th 2017 @ 8:39pm
            RobC said | November 9th 2017 @ 8:39pm | ! Report

            Without a doubt.

            Izzy and Ned. They’re in the same category apparently.

    • November 8th 2017 @ 9:12am
      Old Bugger said | November 8th 2017 @ 9:12am | ! Report

      Always the “hunter” and never the “hunted” aye Chook?? But, remind me again how chooks, perform a stealthy hunt….?? A fun read indeed…..

      • Roar Guru

        November 8th 2017 @ 10:21am
        Machooka said | November 8th 2017 @ 10:21am | ! Report

        Thanks OB… and better to be the ‘hunter’ than the ‘hunted’, stealthy or otherwise.

      • November 8th 2017 @ 11:39pm
        Muzzo said | November 8th 2017 @ 11:39pm | ! Report

        Hi OB,
        Don’t tell Chook, but last weekend I did some plucking, for a hangi, but they weren’t chooks, they were turkeys. It turned out to be a plucking good weekend. Cheers.

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