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We won 4-0, but where does our batting line up stand?

Cameron Bancroft walks onto the field. (AAP Image/Dave Hunt)
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10th January, 2018
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As the offensively scalding January sun sets on another Ashes series in the great southern land, the Australian sporting public received the best Christmas gift of all – a crushing four-nil defeat over England.

It was at times beautiful, at times duller than a nursing home piss up, but always lopsided. The series copped some curry in media circles for being a dud and they’ve got a point.

As much of a true-blue convict as I claim to be, it would be nice to head into the two showpiece Test matches (Melbourne, Sydney) with a bit of jewellery or an urn up for grabs. The toothless Poms provided as much discomfort as a lay-z-boy recliner for the baggy greens.

With that in mind however, I don’t think Australia should be identified as heavy contributors to the boredom.

Captain Snooze, Joe Root, rarely throws a jab let alone attempts a knockout. But before we get lost trampling what’s left of the brittle English morale, we should take the time to look back over the series and run the slide rule over the authoritative Australian performance.

At a glance Cameron Bancroft’s position in the side must be under serious question. Not being an Australian selector however, my theory has been the tried and true method of picking your best 11, no matter the destination.

Bancroft is worryingly getting out to laser straight seeds hurtled down from a lobster red, medium rare English bowling attack looking for a few days respite in the air-conditioning. I hope Bancroft gets another chance.

In our recent future we have thrown a handful of promising youngsters straight into the Test match with not a lot of wiggle room. Give the bloke a chance I say. Speaking of chances, my view pre-Ashes of the Marsh bros directly contradicts my view towards ‘Iron melon’ Bancroft.

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Looking back to October amid all the selection pondering and pontificating, who would have thought our genuine best Test 11 would include, not one, but two Marsh brothers?

Dual centurion Marsh brothers at that! I’m among the many with egg on their face over the Marsh’s selection. They turned it around to play starring roles in the 4-0 feature film.

Shaun Marsh

(Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)

The punters have tried to give young Bancroft every chance, coincidentally affording the Westerner more leeway than fellow members of the Perth Mafia, the brothers Marsh. Bancroft’s technique looked tight, solid, owning all the ease and movements you’d expect from a batsman cutting his teeth on the volatile western pitches, moreover one growing up watching the likes of Damien Martyn.

However Bancroft’s inability to see off the new ball and convert 30s to scores will surely see him struggle in South Africa. Against a frightening and experienced pace attack, the house-of-cards Australian batting line up can ill-afford any stragglers. Something’s gotta give, and that looks like it might be Bancroft.

Cameron Bancroft (left) and Steve Smith (right) of Australia are seen reacting as they answer questions from the media about England wicketkeeper Jonny Bairstow at a post match press conference on Day 5 of the First Ashes Test match between Australia and England at the Gabba in Brisbane, Monday, November 27, 2017.

(AAP Image/Darren England)

Bancroft’s opening comrade, David Warner, often struggled with the ball going across his body, especially on the rare occasion Anderson had the ball swinging. Warner cemented his standing as a home track bully, averaging 59 at home in Australia and 38 overseas.

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While I’m trying to soak up this win and not focus just yet on the tour to the rainbow nation, part of me again becomes restless at the prospect of the outlaw Australian opener facing an attack that so successfully dismantled him a year ago.

Under fire in the top order was Usman Khawaja. A normally elegant left handed stroke maker, well he finally showed a side of his craft that all the cricketing pundits were hoping to see – tough runs from an out of sorts batsman.

Khawaja had scored a pair of 50s in the series and failed to go on with it however after compiling an impressive 171 in the first innings in Sydney, the relief was visible on the laid back lefty.

Kawaja’s Test match spot was cemented on the back of tough runs, a gritty, well crafted ton that went a long way towards setting up Australia’s victory. He will need to display the same level of concentration in order to see off those Saffa quicks.

One quote sums up Steve Smith’s summer. “I love batting”. An bat he did. Hours upon hours. In Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth Steve Smith bailed out a fragile batting line up with truly remarkable, fighting captains knocks. Smith is as strangely elegant as he is ungamely and awkward.

Steve Smith

(Photo by Philip Brown/Getty Images)

Traditional cricket pundits would be choking on their tea and cucumber sandwiches seeing Smith at the crease. In fact I think Geoff Boycott nearly has a coronary with every Smith stroke. No high elbow, bat cocked high in anticipation and not found in any textbook nor taught by any willow wielding scholar.

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Smith feels for the ball outside off-stump, so good is his eye. An historical series for captain Smith averaging 137.4. I draw the line at comparing him to Bradman, but it’s no disservice to mention him in the same breath.

Shaun and Mitch. Mitch and Shaun. Brothers in arms. Perhaps the most polarising siblings in sport among public opinion. Even the most steadfast and zealous of haters must be easing up on Shaun.

His technique is compact and watchful, obviously built on years of opening the batting or at first drop, however Shaun was and has always been a great stroke maker.

It would be fools gold to rush Shaun up the order, let him bat five and punish weary bowlers.

The vehement and enthusiastic observer could be drawn in throws of delight after witnessing Mitch’s rampant lower order hitting and hasty strike rate, however when evaluating Mitch Marsh’s Freddie Flintoff credentials, it would be remiss not to think critically about how bad England were as a bowling unit.

Mitch Marsh

(Photo by Philip Brown/Getty Images)

The batsman’s paradise in the land down under gave Mitch every advantage to succeed, but bowling and clay aside one still has to score the runs. And score he did. But as I pointed out in an earlier article on The Roar, let’s talk about Mitch after South Africa.

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However bizarre Tim Paine’s initial selection was in the Australia Test team, it’s proved a stroke of genius. He has been technically flawless behind the stumps. Paine has chipped in with the bat although outside of the first two Tests he hasn’t really been required to do so.

But I’ve maintained that it’s all we should want in our keeper at this stage. There’s no Adam Gilchrist waiting to step up, so just pick a good keeper who can chip in with the bat and hang around with those almost all-rounder quality bowlers we so wonderfully possess.

For all the favourable words written afore, the Australian batting line up feels like a dodgy Indonesian scaffold waiting to crumble in a typhoon wind. The catalyst? A South African pace attack that would make a deceptacon duck for cover.

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Or perhaps a monsoon affected Chittagong goat track that could turn at right angles. Or perhaps the most dreaded of all, a Steve Smith batting failure.

The mind wonders how differently the Ashes series went if Steve Smith didn’t bail the Australian team out with a masterclass in batting during the Brisbane and Adelaide Test matches, or if firebrand pommy street brawler Ben Stokes had of played a role. But sleeping dogs will forever lie.

The passing thought is that perhaps the current meta in world cricket is that cricketing nations should just win at home and hope for the best overseas. Or is that line of thinking incongruent with the alpha mindset of Australian Cricket? We will know by stumps in Durban.

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