Expert
Kiwi opening batsman Martin Gultill became the new world record holder of runs scored in T20 internationals at Eden Park on Friday night.
In a night where records dropped like Morteined flies, Guptill’s century took him to 2188 career runs from 71 visits, passing his former skipper Brendon McCullum’s 2140 from 70.
India’s Virat Kohli looms as Guptill’s biggest threat in the future, with 1956 runs from just 51, while Australia’s leading T20 international run-getter is David Warner with 1767 from 69.
All the other records that fell on Friday night weren’t the result of brilliant batting on a belter of an Eden Park pitch, but puerile, pathetic and incompetent bowling. It was an embarrassment.
Of the 11 so-called bowlers used, nine were hammered beyond recognition, with Australian left-arm spinner Ashton Agar and Kiwi leggie Ish Sodhi the only ones to just avoid double-digit economy rates.
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Economy? Crap bowling would be far more accurate.
The Australian attack started the rot with constant half-trackers begging to be smashed all over the park, plus a mixture of full tosses, and little to praise with line or length.
With runs flowing at will, Marcus Stoinis bowled one bouncer that landed in his half and was so far above the batsman and keeper Alex Carey’s heads on its way to the ropes that it wasn’t even in the frame from the side-on camera.
Stoinis smiled. Was that from embarrassment or amusement?
There was nothing funny in the delivery as the Kiwis raced to their highest ever T20 international score of 6/243.
But Stoinis wasn’t the only culprit:
With the Kiwi batsmen very grateful for being gifted a very early Christmas present:
If the Kiwis hadn’t committed batting suicide late in the dig, they would have scored at least 270 and wouldn’t have been beaten.
The large patriotic Eden Park crowd of 33,692 were constantly on their feet applauding the Kiwi bash-fest, but they were very silent when the Kiwi attack bowled the same crap against the Australians.
The worst offender was left-arm paceman Ben Wheeler, playing in his sixth T20 international. His seventh will be in the distant future.
He ‘bowled’ 3.1 overs, costing 64 – an ‘economy rate’ 20.21. He was so bad he bowled two full-toss above waist no-balls to be officially banned from bowling again in the game.
Colin de Grandhomme wasn’t much better, bowling 3.5 overs for 56 for an economy rate of 14.60. Tim Southee and Trent Boult are world-class pacemen, but even they went for 12 and 10.95 an over. They were bowling too much crap. At least leggie Sodhi bowled four overs for 35 with an economy rate of 8.75.
The feast was welcomed by Aaron Finch’s 36 not out off 14 for a strike rate of 257.14. Skipper David Warner wasn’t far behind, with 59 off 24 for 245.83, and Glenn Maxwell hit 31 off 14 for 221.42.
That left opener D’Arcy Short, who hit 76 off 44 for a strike rate of 172.72, to be named man of the match, being dismissed in the 17th over.
But Short had a bigger claim to fame than that – the 27-year-old newcomer hasn’t been in a losing Australian T20 side in four starts.
That stat is far more meaningful than the fact Australia broke the world record for the largest run chase on the way to victory, and the 32 sixes in the game only proved how pathetic both attacks were in equalling the world record.
That left Martin Guptill’s world record as meaningful and praise-worthy, as was 22-year-old student Mitchell Grimstone’s, who leaned over the railing in the stand to catch a six left-handed to earn himself a $50,000 cheque from the Tui Brewery.
We’ll drink to that.