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The Ashes squad: I can't be angry at you
24 Apr 2013Silver selection patriarch John Inverarity has unveiled Australia’s squad just in time for the upcoming Ashes tour in July, with the whole experience of the announcement being just plain weird. I feel the restless unease usually saved for the breaking-in of a brand new set of rigid corduroy trousers in its aftermath. Like for any [...]
Waratahs channel Confucius and engage choke button
22 Apr 2013The following slice of wisdom has always been one of the more popular proverbs from the divine Rugby Confucius. ‘If furthering your XV down the path of rectification is for what you strive, then one must first temper weaknesses and/or splash funds on talent.’ In 2013, the Waratahs have made it their trademark to start [...]
City vs Country is as dead as daytime soap
17 Apr 2013After broadcasting 45 gruelling years of steamy side-glances from bush league thespians, Channel Nine has made a major alteration to sick day protocol by cancelling the daily screening of worshipped soap Days of our Lives. Unconfirmed reports from nameless sources say that CEO David Gyngell had grown tired of the program’s suffering standards, so he [...]
Half-Price Steve and reborn Dragons no longer on the Wayne
16 Apr 2013Despite some distasteful trash talking at the scrum base and some disobedient novelty Steedens, another coat of restoration polish was applied to St George Illawarra on Sunday thanks to a blue-collar negation of the Wests Tigers. Now with three straight wins, the famous Red V jersey is once again returning to being more palatable as [...]
Can Smith sweep the big four in 2013?
10 Apr 2013Monday night saw the banality of the universe maintained with another two competition points to the Melbourne Storm, a result that took the club to a record-equalling 13th consecutive win. Yes siree, 2013 so far has been enterprise as usual for Craig Bellamy and his cartel of systemised androids. Death, taxes, yada yada yada. Like [...]
Let's talk about six for the Blues
5 Apr 2013New South Wales, we need a Todd Carney contingency plan. It seems a rambunctious youth of whiskey and lead-footing combined with the rusting capabilities of the Shire’s ocean air is slowly beginning to render his body brittle and unreliable. Right now, our incumbent five-eighth is sidelined with a busted ankle that will keep him out [...]
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