We received this joke the other day and would love to see some more funny sporting jokes (no references to the Australian rugby team please!) posted below, as long as they’re not defamatory or scurrilous.
‘Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, ‘Joe, we both loved rugby all our lives, and we played rugby on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s rugby there’. Joe looks up at Mike from his deathbed. ‘Mike, you’ve been my best friend for many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favor for you. Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, ‘Mike, Mike’. ‘Who is it?’ asks Mike sitting up suddenly. ‘Who is it?’ ‘Mike, it’s me, Joe’. ‘Joe! Where are you?’ ‘In heaven’, replies Joe. ‘I have some really good news and a little bad news’. ‘Tell me the good news first’, says Mike. ‘The good news’, Joe says, ‘is that there’s rugby in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always Spring and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play rugby all we want, and we never get tired’. ‘That’s fantastic’ says Mike. ‘It’s beyond my wildest
dreams! So what’s the bad news?’
‘You’re in the team for next Tuesday!’
Bjorn
Guest
A man had a ticket for the Rugby World Cup Final but was seated in the upper, nosebleed seats. As the match begins, he notices an empty seat down near the pitch on the midfield line. Taking a chance, he makes his way down to the empty seat and asks the man next to it if anyone is sitting there. "No", says the seated man," That seat is empty." "This is incredible," says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?" The seated man says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Rugby Final we haven't been to together since we got married in 1987". "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?". The seated man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."
Farmer
Guest
The NSW Waratah training session was delayed today for nearly two hours. One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown white powdery substance at the end of the field. The NSW Coach immediately suspended practice while the Police were called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the Police determined that the white substance, unknown to the players, was the try line. Practice was resumed when the officials decided that it was unlikely that the team would encounter the substance again this year.
Roger
Guest
John O'Reilly was nursing a few bruises over a glass of Guiness after a very hard game of rugby at his local club in Dublin. In keeping with tradition ,each team member had to propose a toast. When it was Johns turn , he hoisted his glass and said,'here's to spending the rest of my life ,between the legs of my beautiful wife' It won him the prize for the best toast of the night. He eventually got home and excitedly told his wife,Mary,'I won the prize for the best toast of the night at the rugby club" Mary said,'Aye,did ye now.And what was the the toast that got you home so late' John said,'heres to spending the rest of my life ,sitting in church beside me wife" 'Oh,thats very nice indeed,John' Mary proudly said.' The next day ,Mary ran into Seamus one of Johns team mates at the local shopping centre. He chuckled mischievously and said, 'John won the prize last night at the rugby club with a toast about you ,Mary' She said ,'Aye Seamus, he told me,and I was a bit surprised meself. You know ,he's only been there twice in the last four years . Once he fell aseep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come"