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Does the EPL need a salary cap?

1st April, 2011
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Roar Guru
1st April, 2011
22
3014 Reads

The English FA is pondering the introduction of salary caps, thus arousing the great political bout of the 20th century: in the red corner the commie socialists, in the blue corner the capitalist pigs.

I like sport because it mirrors life. Sport is a fantasy life.

There are no serious consequences; it’s only a game – unlike real life, where failure in competition can kill you.

While capitalism claimed victory over socialism in the real world, in sport it lives on. The salary cap concept and the player transfer systems, so common in sport, are socialist plots in disguise.

This may shock us all, as we now so despise socialism. We live in a world where ‘The Central Scrutinizer’ puts stuff in our milk to tell our brains socialism is evil, and we love that stuff – what ever it is.

In the salary cap system, ‘The Central Scrutinizer’ regulates the economy, and tells you how much you can spend; in player transfer markets ‘The Central Scrutinizer’ rewards the losers with the best of the next generations’ players.

It’s all aimed at equality; ensuring that the possibility or the hope of victory, is kept alive and spread around in a giant free love-fest, where the people wear sandals, play bongo drums and smile because they feel they’ve been given a ‘fair go’.

Capitalists – and people who would generally win anyway – call it rewarding failure, commie rubbish, and despise it.

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In free market capitalist sports, there are no monetary limits. You got the cash; you play; win; then get richer.

The side affect is: in the EPL, if you’re an Aston Villa fan – a good middle table club – you just better accept you are never going to actually win the league… never!

In real life, rich capitalists ease your pain of perpetual loss, by producing public propaganda explaining if you want true reward, try religion – some even start a church to make a few bucks out of it, “hell, why not?” – or philosophies about how material possessions don’t matter: go to India, get a guru, notice the people there are poor as all hell but are “really happy”. This is a pure genius tactic, as even hippies suck that one right up.

But some English football supporters are getting a little bored of the prospect of never winning, and there is also the possibility of the big economic bubble bursting. Both of these factors have the FA at least pondering an alternative commie option.

Now of course rampant capitalism in sport is not pure evil.

The EPL is arguably now the best and richest league in the world. A stagnant monopoly of dominant clubs is not a given. You can become a rich club and win, like Chelsea did. A bored Russian – with money from oil resources that once belonged to an entire commie country – came along and bought them victory.

Now Man City are giving it a go with their own insanely rich guy.

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But it gets better; spending big is not assured success, it might fail, like we saw with Leeds Utd; like the minor tremor we see with Liverpool. Now that’s where the new fun is, watching the finances!

And then again, look at Tottenham, where a good English manager and solid effort can still reap rewards – well half rewards anyway.

Football is a bit of an exception in sport world, where commie based systems are rather common. Even in the NFL in the USA, a commie system smack bang in the heart of angry capitalism exists and thrives, where even normally commie shooting truckers sit around, watch and extract joy from it.

That player draft system was adopted by the AFL, where these days, just hang in there and you will win it one day. Even the Swans did!

So while we demand and adore pure capitalism in our real life – apart from getting annoyed with poor people dieing on the streets and getting in the way – in sport, in our fantasy land, we like to make things fair, so everyone can play on an even field.

It is a bit odd, really.

Shouldn’t it be the other way around ?

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