Whilst Osama Bin Laden may have been found by the CIA watching another replay of the royal wedding yesterday in his Pakistan penthouse, another prominent un-Australian still walks among us. I am, of course, referring to myself.
My crime, particularly in these circles, is ruthless and borders on high treason. Something that rivals selling ASIO secrets to the Russians whilst eating an endangered rock wallaby and wiping my mouth on Steve Waugh’s baggy green. I have supported New Zealand.
Not in everything I might add, just rugby league. But not in a way that they’re my second favourite. I’ve supported the Kiwis over Australia. And I don’t even have a New Zealand great-grandmother.
I’ve done so for nigh on a decade now. It all started after the Kangaroos whipped the men in black 54-0 at Stadium Australia in 2000.
All of a sudden teasing the bloke at the newsagent with the funny accent had lost its lustre as the papers he sold spoke less and less about Kangaroo excellence and more and more about the demise of Test match rugby league.
I went about my business quietly at first, fearing friends and family might be suspicious of a full Maori facial tattoo or the complete Dave Dobbin record collection.
In secret I cheered on the Russians and the Welsh in that year’s World Cup, hoping against hope for an upset against Australia to give the Kiwis a run. Alas it was not to be as the green and gold went rampant in a deceptively close final leaving New Zealand to wander aimlessly for the next few years.
Flash forward to the 2005 Tri-Nations and enter Brian McClennan a portly, bald, abrasive man who was the rugby league equivalent of Jerome and Brett in Flight of the Conchords.
Few people outside of Footrot Flats knew who he was and soon he would be leading team NZ against the world’s best. Finding myself in London at the time of the tournament I followed the Kiwis surprise form all the way to the final, making my way to an icy Leeds the only way that was financially possible to me at the time, i.e. a fanatics bus tour, an experience of booze and flatulence that only further encouraged me to spurn my countrymen.
What should have been a magical night for this sheep in wolf’s clothing watching 50 years of trans-Tasman payback was somewhat dampened however by our tour leader who had us leave the ground 10 minutes from full-time, only for us to be subsequently spotted by some local English fans who gave us a ‘Yorkshire shower’ on the way out.
The stale beer, nor the drunken bus driver, could lower my mood though as I told all and sundry that New Zealand had only years to wait before they would be the true ‘World Cup’ champions.
It was to my dismay then that success disappeared for NZ quicker than the Mad Butcher at a vegan restaurant with the NZRL replacing McClennan with Gary ‘crayfish’ Kemble, a move that turned out to be a bit like replacing Paul Sironen with Michael Pobjie in the 1989 grand final.
‘Captain Calamity’ as he was known to his players coached the side to a 3-0 series defeat against Great Britain in a result Kemble labelled ‘pretty close’. The players and press labelled it ‘pretty atrocious’ however and one year out from the World Cup the Kiwis were coachless, friendless and beached as. Bro.
More importantly to me, I was a laughing stock.
Cometh the ice man. Like a gnarled wild west gunslinger that had seen it all before Wayne Bennett strode into town, kicked open the NZRL’s saloon doors and yanked the gold star from Kemble’s cold corpse. Suddenly some palms began to get sweaty.
At the bar Colin Love glanced at Geoff Carr, who looked at Ricky Stuart, who shoulder charged a referee. Bennett, who felt he had been duped by the ARL following the 2005 Tri-Nations, was out for revenge… a dish the ice man knew was always best served cold.
And serve it up he did in the Kiwis 2008 World Cup final victory, a game second only to the 1995 Illawarra Carlton League Grand Final for twists, turns and controversy. I watched the game from the nosebleed stands of Suncorp, wedged between a trio of young Australian guys and an old New Zealand couple.
When it became clear that the game was won the older gentleman in front of me burst into tears, as if unable to believe what he was seeing.
The Australian blokes behind me looked like they had just seen Ruban Wiki doing star jumps in the nude. I vaulted down to the sideline seats where the large contingent of leftover English fans and Steveo had begun taunting the Australian players; poms, pakeha, Polynesians and punters all cheering on the downfall of an empire.
It’s been a couple of years since that muggy November night. The Kangaroos and the Kiwis have played each other a few times since with the results being pretty even. Sure, the Kiwis haven’t dominated like I once predicted but it’s nice to watch a game between the two countries where power and skill have replaced predictability and skulduggery.
Which brings me to my final revelation.
Casting an eye over the two team lists on Sunday I couldn’t help but spot some chinks in Australia’s armour. A couple of players out of form here, a few gambles on the bench there. So this Friday, for the first time in over a decade, I’m going to be proudly cheering on the mighty Roos.
It’s not that I suddenly hate the Kiwis, with players like Hohai and Marshall I don’t think I ever could. It’s just that they don’t need, or deserve, our sympathy any more. Real Test match rugby league is here and to paraphrase Winston Smith; “I love Australia.”
Wendy from Rockhampton
Guest
Nice work, Vic. Doesn't excuse you for eating all the Pineapple Lumps, though.
Jackson
Guest
I think that game at Gallipoli terrible idea. It's SO disrespectful - this is TURKEY, not Australia or NZ! How would we feel if the Japanese and one of their allies played a game of soccer in Darwin, commemorating the day of their bombing of Darwin? Or is it because we were on the 'right side' that we can go and do whatever we like in another country which, we must remember, we invaded!
Matt S
Guest
Vic, what do you think of NZ v Australia in Istanbul? The ultimate journey in supporting the Kiwis. I am there if this gets the go ahead.
karlos
Guest
The game has been made easier for our Kiwi cousins with the structure of the juniors and the increased interchange. Get it back to 6 interchanges and get some of the "hit it up" imposters out of our game. I understand being trired of watching Australia win, but it is the Poms I secretly cheer for. Our game needs a strong England and we need to ensure that happens and that means helping Poms stay in the game instead of going to union for the extra $ and lower work rate. Hoping our next tv deal delivers this and it should, but a lot of things should happen that do not. I still have a suspicion that News Ltd wants to force a merger between League and Union (more the crushing of RL) with Union controlling the purse strings as similarly happened when the Northern Football Association and Football Association came together to ensure the Working Class were not the main benefactors of the Association Football profits once that game took off (with RUs help of course). The AFL deal might be another News tool for this to happen as the NRL is the last real stronghold of the Working Mans Game despite the battering it has taken and the money it has been denied. No other game could have withstood what ours has and International games must be given greater prominance to ensure it's survival and progress. France too need our help.
soapit
Guest
too many people i dont like in the aussie teams lately to feel too upset when they get beaten.
soapit
Guest
steady on mate, we'll always smash england (unless they recruit a team of new zealanders)
Goat Boat Driver
Guest
Good Story Drew
Goat Boat Driver
Guest
Vic, Very disappointing to hear of your support for the kiwis. The only time they should be supported is when they play the poms. Reasons not to support NZ in league: - They talk funny - Sheep - They are good at union (except world cups) - Their snow season is much better and cheaper - They are not Australia - Jarrod McCraken used to play for them Don't think kangaroos will dominate forever. Have grown up in an era where the aussie cricket team always, always beat the Poms (and everyone else for that matter). Then suddenly, Poms win 3 out of the last 4 ashes series. Unimaginable. The same may happen to the league team (eg. regularly losing to NZ).
Mella
Roar Rookie
Is it just me or does Kearney make some weird selections. Some guy called Duffie is in the squad as a winger while Krisnan Inu, Steve Matai and Alex Glenn miss out. Long term I think it will go back to floggings as long as origin provides a bigger pay day. The kiwi's have a bit of a golden generation at present.
Jackson
Guest
Haha, this reminded me of a skit in the Santo, Sam and Ed world cup show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYnoCleH7OM Actually, I always love watching Samoa/Tonga/Fiji play the All Blacks... I always hope one of the island team beats them, one day they will!
Chris Chard
Roar Guru
Brian, Personally I believe that the Kiwis key to being competitive with Australia long term is to produce high quality players in the key positions i.e. halves and hooker, something they haven't always done in the past. That and competent talent identification and administration from the NZRL Also as mentioned players get paid more for an Origin match than a test match (due to the revenue that each currently create) therefore if a player is tossing up allegiances between Australia and NZ they are a lot better off financially to choose the origin and Kangaroo path. This has robbed the Kiwis of some players in recent years in particular K Hunt and Ben Teo. Hopefully with the increased competition between the Kiwis and Kangaroos combined with a seperate TV deal for test matches will result in greater test payments for both nations players. Giving the Kiwis more home games and games against other international sides will also help to achieve this. Cheers, Vic
Bilbo
Guest
Kiwis have had a really good policy lately of getting prospective players to declare allegiance when they are young. Steve Kearney has been very hands on in this approach, and many guys who would be origin possibilities are kiwis - ala Josh Hoffman. The issue for the kiwis will come in the next few years, when origin payments skyrocket and players will miss out if they don't play. Generally you play more rep matches if you're australian, with origin, and this could be a long term threat to the kiwis. -- Comment left via The Roar's iPhone app. Download The Roar's iPhone App in the App Store here.
Jay
Guest
Im the same mate. Go the Kiwis in the league. I also love it when the black caps give the Aussie cricketers a run for their money. Only exception is Socceroos over All Whites and Wallabies over All Blacks (although, damn good watching the ABs).
Brian
Guest
I don't know much about RL, long-term is it feasible for NZ to compete with Australia after the likes of Marshall retire? Down here in Melbourne I never know what RL players prefer payng for their state or their country?
Chris Chard
Roar Guru
Hi BF, It's interesting that in the last five years Aus v NZ games have been getting closer and closer whilst QLD v NSW have been going in the opposite direction. The overiding appeal of Origin is its closeness over 30 years. I honestly believe that if in trans Tasman tests were on par with origin in regards to closeness over a sustained period of time (a decade at least) then yes, Australians would follow tests just as much as origin. The Bledisloe cup is enough to prove this to me. As an aside it's a great shame that the game could not be played in Christchurch, it would have been great to see another test in NZ in a quality stadium in front of a good crowd ala Eden park last year (err minus the bottles of course). Shame they couldn't move it to Wellington or another NZ location but it seems like scheduling was the problem. On a brighter note with the NZRL/ARL comitting to at least two tests a year between the teams, one being in NZ and one in Aus (after this year) I think we are in the early stages of a golden era for trans-tasman tests. Now how about a lions tour downunder RFL? Cheers Vic
brother Fesol
Guest
If these test matches between Australia and New Zealand became of an Origin intesity and quality, would Aussies follow it just as much as Origin? I'm interested to know your opinions.
jimmy
Guest
They say it's not an International sport. its not as big as Rugby but its growing. Major Sports in- PNG,Australia ,England,New Zealand,Fiji,Samoa and Tonga Professional Sports in France and Wales minor in italy,Ireland, USA, Jamaca,lebanon and more . Watch these and tell me this game dosnt have International support. may not be as big as Rugby or Football but its there. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgfXMiSFJSM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V-tPoYxY0I http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gwed9u_Ymx4&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6SA59d_z5g http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sycyc-rEqDo&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D91zgaASiQI&feature=related
Wylie
Guest
I've always supported NZ in League as well - and I support all the international teams when they play the Warratahs.
oikee
Guest
:) Eric the Eel, wonder if he has rubbed off onto Parra.
oikee
Guest
Vic, Vic, Vic, mate come-on, you obviuosly fell for the ruggers or media or the guy next door, all in your ear telling you that international rugby league is not a contest. Mate, dont be fooled, dont ever be a sucker to public opinion, besides, what would they know. Look mate, i was at the cup final 08, and yes a friend of mine ran out of the stadium because we got done. Death and taxes and the Kangaroos winning, 3 things in this world that you could count on, now its down to 2. Never ever make the mistake that the Kiwis cant win or dont want to win, mate they will celebrate winning at marbles. I said 2 years ago that the Kiwis and Islanders are getting stronger, with nearly 50% of them playing the game with-in the next 10 years, what you going to be like when we are being belted, cheer for the Kiwis again.? Enjoy our wins while it lasts, the worm is turning, faster than you could imagine. It wont be far off before we start to struggle to beat England. The groundhog can see some dark winters on the horizon. If we start losing players to other codes, might get even worse. If we lose the next world cup in England, the party is over my friend. This test on the week-end looks good for us at the moment, we have all our big ugly indigernous boys playing, plus Thurston back. Mate, where would our game be if we did not have our indigernous boys, with AFL trying to gobble them all up, this might be our future, the whipping boys of international rugby league.