AFL sights set on other codes

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    After the signings of Karmichael Hunt and Israel Folau, rumour mills are abuzz as the AFL looks to have picked their next targets.

    Looking to promote the game beyond Melbourne, big names capable of drawing crowds unknown to the sport, looks the number one priority.

    Excitement is the objective as the AFL look to bring new skills to add to the excitement of football.

    With both rugby codes out of the equations, the AFL has its eyes fixed strongly on Racing Victoria.

    Black Caviar has been tearing turf to pieces and excited audiences far and plenty. With blistering pace, capable of breaking the lines, not even Jude Bolton looks capable of tackling her.

    Named the fastest sprinter in the world, Black Caviar will undoubtedly raise code war alarm bells.

    Whichever team lands Black Caviar looks set for a big season. Having destroyed every opponent to date with ease, she looks very excited to take on the challenge of AFL football.

    Questions have been raised over her ability to bounce the ball on the run. Various coaches however, have been quick to label her “something special” and “capable of anything”.

    Brent Harvey looks to be high on Peter Moody’s shopping list but the Kangaroos will not deal him, insisting Moody accept Drew Petrie instead.

    This looks to be the only hurdle blocking what will be an infamous code switch.

    Fresh from his media duties following the successful launch of Fast and Furious 5, WWE star, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson is rumoured to have signed a 10-year deal with an unknown club.

    Highly touted for his ability to flatten professional athletes in the squared circle, wrestler-turned-movie star, The Rock, has been seen spending a lot of time in the kitchen.

    Reporters were unable to smell what he was cooking.

    When asked if he had signed a deal with the AFL, he responded with one raised eye brow.

    With a history of using his elbows, the match review panel will have to be extra vigilant this year.

    Across the pond, furore is mounting after reports of Christiano Ronaldo being offered a larger contract from the AFL than he currently receives from Real Madrid.

    Impressed by the AFL communities stance on alcohol consumption, Ronaldo has stated money will have nothing to do with the transfer, if successful.

    Rather, the strict no-partying culture appears to have inked his signature.

    Spending excess off 11 million euros per year on Ronaldo, looks to be the AFL’s master strategy of penetrating the European market.

    Economists have praised the AFL on capitalising on the exchange rate.

    In other news, Mahatma Gandhi has been appointed the AFL’s new Secretary of Defence.

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    The Crowd Says (24)

    • Roar Guru

      May 26th 2011 @ 9:22am
      mds1970 said | May 26th 2011 @ 9:22am | ! Report

      LOLlerskates! Love your work.

    • May 26th 2011 @ 9:28am
      Sean Fagan said | May 26th 2011 @ 9:28am | ! Report

      I’m hearing Black Caviar has gone cold on this deal…put off by talk that jumping will soon be banned in Victoria…well, jumping so far as equines are concerned that it is…

    • May 26th 2011 @ 9:30am
      TheSlingTackle said | May 26th 2011 @ 9:30am | ! Report

      Lol! Very clever. Loved the Rock lines.

    • Roar Guru

      May 26th 2011 @ 9:31am
      Redb said | May 26th 2011 @ 9:31am | ! Report

      I don’t know about Black Caviar, good on the right hoof, the left is weak. Like any good ego filled full forward though has the blinkers on and will never handball.

    • May 26th 2011 @ 9:42am
      Art Sapphire said | May 26th 2011 @ 9:42am | ! Report

      Ha,ha – You forgot to mention the 100 million Euro ($140 mil Aussie) paid by the AFL to Real Madrid for Ronaldo’s transfer.
      The GWS salary cap will be increased to 40 million dollars to accommodate Ronaldo’s wage demands.
      There goes a fair chunk of the TV deal money.
      The AFL will also lavish him with a 6 bedroom house in Rooty Hill and give him the keys to a Toyota Prius.
      Driving Ferraris and Lambos will be strictly verboten as he will have to make do with the AFL approved sponsored wheels.

      • Columnist

        May 26th 2011 @ 10:18am
        Alfred Chan said | May 26th 2011 @ 10:18am | ! Report

        Money isn’t expected to be a factor from the AFL side of things. Ronaldo is an ‘investment’ to ensure a bigger (!) TV deal in 2016 which will cover all of Europe!

        Taylor Walker has convinced him to bring the Lambos over. He has told him the media will not snap him cruising around in it, especially on game day.

    • May 26th 2011 @ 10:08am
      Ian Whitchurch said | May 26th 2011 @ 10:08am | ! Report

      The word on the street is that Andrew Demetriou was seen on Sesame Street, talking to Snufalupugus as to whether he could line up a meeting with Big Bird at Mr Hooper’s store. Cash was seen changing hands.

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