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All Blacks Brad Thorn, right and John Afoa, left, react. AP Photo/Peter Morrison
That scandalous headline got your attention, didn’t it? Just like it got mine driving home at 5kmph in Auckland’s peak-hour traffic last night.
It’s the view of seasoned commentator Willie Losé in discussion with Larry Williams on Newstalk ZB.
I glanced across at the driver of the vehicle beside me. “Did you hear that?” I yelled with my eyes. She was none the wiser. Nor was my seven-year-old son looking bemused in the passenger seat.
What they fail to understand is that bagging Brad is a no-go zone. He’s a bonafide super hero. The man of steel. Not as fast as a speeding bullet but definitely as powerful as a locomotive.
“Crack him Larry,” I plead with a vengeance. But no such retort. No accountability. The offense left hanging in the breeze like a Pom in a black jersey.
Under normal circumstances I’m a big fan of Willie’s commentary – informed and insightful. But not this time. A shockingly reckless statement from the former Tongan international.
Brad might have signed to play in Japan after this year’s World Cup, but the pinnacle tournament is by no means beyond him.
Willie neglects the fact that the iconic lock anchored Canterbury’s scrum through a remarkable Super Rugby season spent entirely on the road.
He led the charge right to the finish line while Canterbury’s stars fell injured around him. He led while captain Richie McCaw and general Dan Carter watched mostly from the sidelines, with the rest of us.
So now Brad’s recharging those massive batteries for one last campaign. And you can rest assured that every residue of experience and energy in that expansive reservoir of his will be spent getting the job done.
There’s a tangible and intangible security that comes with Brad at the centre of the All Blacks pack – especially when backs are against the wall. No lock in the country brings anything near what Brad Thorn brings to the RWC table.
No. You got that call wrong Willie – way wrong.
So now the onus is on you to convince the vast majority of New Zealand’s rugby public, and Graham Henry, you got it right.
Finally, some one-liners from a Facebook Page titled “Brad Thorn is a tough bastard”:
• Brad Thorn was busting for a piss and there was no toilet nearby so he peed into a truck fuel tank. That truck then turned into Optimus Prime.
• Superman actually has two weaknesses: Kryptonite and Brad Thorn.
• Brad Thorn is so tough when he wants to eat a salad he eats a vegetarian.
• You must say “Brad Thorn” when you name him. . . or Brad Thorn will find you.
It has 3333 members, including me, of course.
Join The Roar rugby editor Christy Doran, former Wallaby Matt Toomua and a cast of regular and special guests as they look at the biggest issues in the game on The Roar Rugby Podcast. If you’re looking for great odds on the next game check out Aussie bookmaker PlayUp. Chances are you’re about to lose. Set a deposit limit.