None of these, however, compare on the frustration scale to trying to explain rugby union to the uninitiated.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not claiming to be a high priest of authority on the game – more like a casual church goer. A level one coaching certificate is as far as my official accreditation extends, however even obtaining this proved to be more difficult than insulting John Eales at Ballymore.
As a PE teacher who had obtained accreditation in sports that I couldn’t watch let alone play (European Handball, Canadian Canoeing, Roller Frisbee) becoming qualified in a sport that I had played intermittently over the years seemed like a no-brainer, and a ticket to a cushy private school gig.
This was until I was confronted with a Matt Dunning-sized examination of questions along the lines of:
– If the offensive fly-half box kicks from the breakdown and the Gilbert strikes an unbound defensive flanker before ricocheting off the uprights and hitting the corner post, at which point the assistant referee is defecated on by a seagull, should the referee;
a. Pack a scrum.
b. Award a 22yard free kick to the defensive team.
c. Buy Peter Fizsimons’ new book.
How anyone who didn’t actually attend rugby school in the 19th century has managed to become a coach or official in the game before Google escapes me (on a brighter note, the test booklet has been doing a pretty fair job of holding up one corner of my lounge for the last couple of years).
But I digress. Years ago a friend of mine with an Aussie Rules background was coaxed along to a local rugby union training session. Being a stockily built chap, the coach took one look at him and cast him into the front row as hooker.
Subsequently in his first match practice he was elbowed five times in the face, trod on unmercifully before cracking the sads and driving home after unsuccessfully attempting to throw a legal lineout throw after 20 minutes of trying.
If this sounds like a painful rugby union experience, however, it pales in comparison to my Bledisloe Cup viewing last weekend.
Watching the match with a small group my attention was about as consistent as the Wallabies attack as the querying of rules and interpretations was interrupted only by James O’Connor artistically kicking goals in multi-vitamin ads (special effects that would put ‘Avatar’ to shame).
My mother-in-law, who successfully mastered the basics of American football after half a Super Bowl, was particularly confused as to where to look for the breakdowns the commentators kept talking about, not to mention the prolonged advantage ruling.
This was just the tip of the iceberg as everything from Quade Cooper’s seemingly endless forward passes to why play suddenly changed from ‘end-to-end’ to ‘side-to-side’ when the ball was brought out to the 22 line became a bone of contention.
By game’s end I was mentally exhausted and would have gladly stood in the way of a Maori sidestep if it meant avoiding any more rule questions.
So with the World Cup around the corner, does the ARU have a public perception problem of the game’s laws being lost in translation?
I for one believe so and nothing short of a Federal funded fridge magnet outlining the ELV laws and a series of community consultation sessions panelled by the 1984 Wallabies backline, is needed to rectify the issue.
Failing that Channel 9 could just show the film ‘Forever Strong’ every Monday night for the next month, or Tooheys New could rehash their popular penalty explanation tickers down the bottom of the screen.
Anything to ensure those with a vague idea of what’s happening can make it till the All Blacks get knocked out of the cup without the need to disappear to a remote cabin somewhere to watch the games, emerging a month later like an emancipated Sebastian Chabal.
Because that really would be hard to explain.
Steve
Guest
JVGO makes a good point: a game with endless stoppages, infringements and disputes isn't hard to understand, it's just hard to watch
Red Chief
Roar Pro
Then how does it fill 110 000 people stadiums?
Red Chief
Roar Pro
Spot on M.O.C.
Dean - Surry Hills
Guest
With the exception that a ball can be stripped in league on a one-on-one tackle.
jason8
Guest
If u wanna understand it... you have to have played it at some point, preferably in the scrum.
Chris
Guest
This is ridiculous - it was mostly the middle classes who played Rugby and were responsible for the split which led to League being formed. If it was only the "rich" who played how come it was (and is) popular in Wales among coal miners and the like? not to mention the actual clubs in the north of England that formed League? Rugby was way too "common" for the Royals back then - horse racing was always their bag
johnb747b
Guest
To repeat what I've said elsewhere. There are too many reasons for a grandstanding poseur (a referee) to stop a game of rugby. Some years back someone timed the amount of time that the ball was in play in a test match Oz v ABs. 34 minutes! That's a lot of time for players to stand around with their hands on their hips. When rugby finally got around to allowing lifting in the lineout the game got a whole new, exciting range of skills. Who gives a damn about a hand in the ruck, joining from the side etc? Get on with the bloody game! That way the game will become much easier to explain to 'outsiders'. And while about it, give a try an extra point and reduce a penalty goal by one point.
kiwidi
Guest
rugby union originated in england ,only rich could play then ie royal family
chris
Guest
What is this game then ?? http://www.ufofooty.com/
Zulu Warrior
Guest
Simple:rugby union is not a spectator sport
Bakkies
Guest
There are so many stoppages and commercial breaks in the NFL it gives you time to learn. When they aren't showing nauseating commercial breaks their commentators are good at breaking down the game.
Charging Rhino
Guest
I only grew up with Rugby so I find it extremely simple!! And entertaining :-) Have no idea what's going on in AFL and why they do things, League is extremely boring because all they do is run into each other then after six times of that they give the ball to the other team if they haven't scored??? How boring! Although touch rugby based on the same concept is very fun to play. Soccer too is boring, watching people run around and kick a ball to and fro and maybe get a goal every now and then. There's a bit more meat and tactics in American Football but it just takes so long that it gets boring too. So for me rugby is the easiest: Simple- 1) dont pass forward, if you do or you knock the ball on the other team gets the scrum 2) don't play the ball on the ground, in any form or way including holding onto it while on the ground, otherwise penalty to the other team. You can only contest the ball if you're on your feet. 3) don't come into a ruck or maul from the side, only from behind the last mans feet. otherwise penalty 4) don't take someones head off, penalty 5) kick the ball wherever you like, if it goes out of play unless kicking on a penalty the other team get to throw the ball back 6) don't pul layers to the floor and stay within your side of the imaginary line on a lineout 7) the imaginary line ruling offsides in general play is always behind the last mans feet of a ruck, maul or scrum. If youre over this line.... penalty 8) front rankers - engage straight into each other, don't slip and don't put your arms on the ground, otherwise penalty 9) 5 points to place the ball over the line, a bonus extra 2 if you can kick it through the poles 10) 3 points if you kick it through the poles on a penalty or drop-kick Most importantly just hammer the heck out of the other guys, run or kick around or through them and put points on the board! Simple enough to me!!??? Have I left anything out? The smaller technicalities about these rules obviously come when you watch a few games. I guess it really helps to have played it too. My two cents worth...
Bakkies
Guest
McCaw does cheat though. Detaching early from the scrums is another thing he gets away with 98% of the time.
V-ord-12
Guest
Well he is very liberal with entering through the gate, let's put it that way...
Nathan of Perth
Guest
Have you read that AFL Laws of the Game? God, if ever there was a rules document that needed to keep its game laws and its competition by-laws separate. There is no way that the law on the number of siren signals and number of backup shirts that are required should be part of the same document as the laws on marking and tackling. Just absurd. Thats something I'll say that FIFA does very well with its laws. I dunno about NFL, I've never found it hard to understand ... uh ... but then again I did spend a few of my formative years there, so I suppose that backs up your point.
mitzter
Guest
There will be more elvs after this world cup. They've asked the various unions for submissions.
The Cattery
Roar Guru
Although interestingly, Australian Football rules are much simpler than rugby rules, even though it shares one of the same basic tenets, that the ball is always being contested, but it's an open contest, with few barriers to entry, and many rugby/league fans don't like the messiness that this necessarily entails, or fail to appreciate that it can be very difficult to win clean possession if your opponent is trying to do it as well at the exact same time, while others are hanging on to you, bumping you, etc. (I agree that at times it can look quite scrappy, especially if the ball isn't coming out quick enough). In a recent rugby international I was watching, a mis-directed kick landed half way between the two lines, and the commentator said: ok, who really wants it. And that summarises Australian Football very well - the ball is regularly there to be won, and whoever wants the footy the most, will win the game. Players will be admonished for not wanting it enough. I like rugby - but after 26 years of watching it on and off - I still don't understand many rules. I also like watching League highlights, but I'm not really interested too much in watching the five hit ups that preceded the highlight.
Ralph
Guest
It is all at once very officious and played in slow motion, which is it's secret and downfall. Because it's so slow it's complexity can easily be explained. Because it's so slow I found it got a little boring after a while.
Samvandamn
Guest
The same thing can be said for AFL to a greater extent. No one outside of Australia has a clue whats going on in that sport and that is why the game will struggle to grow outside of the country. This just lends itself to the argument that its what you are raised on that you understand the most. Out of all the footy sports NFL is by far the hardest to understand yet it is a religion over in the States.
King of the Gorgonites
Roar Guru
Yea i agree. Sometime the penalties are bloody confsuing, let alone what it must be like for the casual observer, like the people you watched the game with. One of the big obstacles that keep people out of the game. But sometimes rugby can thrill people who do not even know what is gonig on. For me it was the 94 Bledisloe where Gregan made the match winning tackle. After that i was hook. Those games do not come around to often, but when they do it makes all those frustrating rules worth it. The ELVs (full set) tried to make it simpler. However, they had their issues, and were partly disbanded. After this WC the IRB needs to look very closely at the breakdown and the scrum. If some of the laws can be clarified and made easier for the viewers to follow, rugby will greatly benefit from it. Also agree that part of the problem is that people dont get enough exposure to RU due to lack of FTA coverage. hopefully, in time, that can change. Good article though.